YouthPhoria UK© The Premier Role Model Edition November 2013 | Page 33

Natasha Benjamin speaks very openly
to YouthPhoriaUK© about her abusive
childhood and how she has sought to
free herself from this trauma. There
are details at the end of the article if
you would like to get in touch with her
if you’re affected by any of the issues
spoken about.
“As a young girl I witnessed and experienced
the most acute violence against my mother
and I, at the hands of my stepfather. This had
a traumatic impact on my developing years,
through teen to adult years. I felt that I was
both the guilty and innocent party. Guilty,
that in some unknown way it was my fault
but then innocent because I hadn’t asked for
it to happen.

A few weeks passed with me writing every
day; I was learning to channel my feelings
and emotions into a place that was safe.
During this time, an incident occurred with
a close friend where I could sense that they
just wanted me to ‘snap out of it’ and they
thought that I was playing the ‘victim’ to
get attention.

The blog gave me a different perspective.
I was able to look at my life from the outside
in and use it whenever I felt the need to
release the things that were going around
my head. I was never a good speaker or
talker (so I believed) but I found that writing
really helped and was naturally very
comfortable for me.

This led to me having another horrid panic
attack and I decided that I’d had enough of
being misunderstood and that other people
needed to understand just what I was going
through. The struggles I was having with my
feelings; the everyday darkness I was in.
I wanted their compassion, not their pity.

As time went on, my blog received more and
more followers some of whom commented
that they would like to be able to write to
express their feelings, but didn’t know
where to start. Hearing this, I created a
Facebook page and a closed group to
support individuals who had or were
experiencing mental health issues and/or
domestic violence. I encouraged them to
start writing creatively and free their minds.

I emailed the link of my blog to all my
friends and family, hoping they would read
it and finally get it. I was overwhelmed by
Trying to always make sense of the suffering the support I received; the messages telling Now I have over 10,000 followers across
me how brave I was and how well I’d
my blog and social media sites and I’ve
I encountered due to domestic violence
registered Free Your Mind as a company
brought about issues with my mental health. managed to hide so much. Another friend
with the aim of creating a supportive comtold me she’d cried reading it because she
I dealt with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder;
munity to help people rebuild their sense of
really had no idea that things were as bad
then experienced panic attacks and depression.
self through writing their own story.”
as they were.
Unfortunately, I did not know this until early
last year. Up until then I just thought that I
If you’d like to get in touch with Natasha and Free Your Mind:
was an over-thinker, a bit paranoid and odd.
Strangely it seemed perfectly normal for
Web: www.freeyourmindcic.com Facebook: Free Your Mind cic
me to be like this, but it affected everything
Closed Group: www.facebook.com/groups/502907503100327
around me from relationships, to friendships
and employment.
Twitter: @Freeyourmindcic Instagram: Freeyourmindcic
Blog: www.tumblr.com/blog/fym-paintopeace

Natasha Benjamin

Through the pain –

My journey to f inding me

I encouraged them to start writing creatively

But then I hit rock bottom. I stopped communicating with people and began to completely isolate myself. Locked off in my own
little world, I began to find mental space
and comfort in writing out my thoughts in a
diary. This then became a blog called ‘Free
Your Mind - Pain to Peace’. My journey to
finding me had started.

YouthPhoriaUK

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