Forever Watchman
Victor Terrien
Stagnant, sitting, wasting
away, my vision a fading shot
at the end of a sunset without
the happy conclusion, no hero or heroine
to light up the night, no stars
jingling in my pocket on the walk home.
A taste, please.
Just a tongue’s brush against
what I’ve been missing without
knowing it. I push the dear things aside.
There’s no poetic way to put it.
I let the doubt creep in from the rain again,
didn’t I? The look on its face
as I was devoured was so different
from the one on my doorstep.
But that’s what I get for allowing
the dust to settle.
I’m meant to dance in the storm,
embracing the ample drops like lovers,
inhaling the danger in the air, a drug
some believe is a gateway to enlightenment.
I don’t know if I can resist it much longer.
The throbbing in my chest is breaking
through the skin. Give me what I desire,
even if I don’t know what that is
most of the time. You are my god,
my forever watchman. Guardian of all
that is pure, save room for a wretch like me.
99