your-god-is-too-small May. 2016 | Page 68

Is the Angel of Death, the Death Angel or the “destroyer” (depending on the translation) sent by YHWH a bit dimwitted? We know that YHWH knows his people because they are circumcised (at least the men), although Moses was not – which leads to a funny story later, when YHWH sees that Moses and his son are not circumcised (I guess he wasn’t looking at Moses’ genitals before?) and YHWH goes to kill Moses, but luckily Moses’ wife saves the day with a piece of flint – read about it at Exodus 4:24-25, and if you want to read the really wild version complete with the hatan (the Satan) and lots of bad Angels, check out the midrash Nedarim 32a. For wild fantasy, you can’t beat the midrash. So anyway, YHWH can’t trust the Angel of Death 14 with not confusing the YHWH loving Hebrews with the degenerate Egyptians who have had an advanced civilization for about 2,000 years already, with the pyramids being over 1,000 years old by the time this story supposedly happened. So YHWH comes up with the wonderful idea of marking the door of each Hebrew with lamb’s blood. This requires some explanation itself. Weren’t all the sheep already killed not once but several times by the other plagues? So I guess the Hebrews were slaves having their own livestock? But the narrative never says that the Hebrew’s livestock was exempt from the other plagues. And while we are on the subject, if they were slaves, how is it that they all had their own houses? Slaves usually lived with their owners. But again, let’s not let a little thing like logic stand in the way of a ripping bloodthirsty tale. If you want to read more about this sadistic episode, AVOID Wikipedia (“Plagues of Egypt”), which spends an inordinate amount of its time trying to provide natural explanations for the plagues, as though they were real historical events. All the citations are of books and apologists claiming the historicity of the plagues. “Scientists claim the plagues can be attributed to a chain of natural phenomena triggered by changes in the climate and environmental disasters hundreds of miles away.” This is despite the fact that there is no mention of the plagues or of Hebrew slaves in any Egyptian sources. None. Zero. So the only source material for these plagues that supposedly have natural causes (according to Wikipedia) is the Hebrew Bible. P a g e | 68