your-god-is-too-small May. 2016 | Page 203

Five Reasons Why Sex can Be Better for Atheists By - Dean Van Drasek What a Pervert! Before all the theists get their undies in a knot (or knickers in a twist, if you’re British), let me say that I am talking about consenting adults in honest relationships engaging in activities which are legal wherever they happen to be. Everyone is assumed to be acting in the way that they are because they freely choose to do so. Also, I am not talking about interspecies sex (not even with our closest relative the chimpanzee); only humans. So, with that out of the way, on to the good stuff. 1. Masturbation is Fun and Good for You It is quite surprising how many religions frown upon this most natural of acts. In most cases the prohibition is not in the mainstream literature, but has grown up around the religious practice. It’s not mentioned in the Koran, but Shiites consider it haram (sinful) and Sunnis think it’s ok sometimes and not others. Hebrews thought that YHWH actually killed a man because he pulled out during intercourse and “spilled his seed” (Genesis 38: 8-10). The Jewish philosopher Maimonides considered masturbation a bad thing in and of itself, and it didn’t need a specific prohibition from YHWH. For Hindus and Buddhists it’s ok in moderation. Jesus doesn’t mention it, but all major Christian sects have found at one time or another some Biblical excuse to condemn it. But for atheists, well, just enjoy it. It’s probably the world’s greatest indoor entertainment, next to computer games. It doesn’t make you go blind, it doesn’t lessen your qi (your inner strength, as some Chinese think), it’s not a crime, some god won’t kill or punish you for it, and it hurts no one. Toys, lubricants, pornography, inflatable dolls, dildos the size of donkey penises, whatever does it for you, just relax and enjoy. Medical studies show that it’s good for you and helps relieve stress (like I needed someone to tell me that…). The bad old days of being afraid that excessive masturbation could lead to insanity or blindness are just that, the bad old (and rather stupid) days. 2. Pornography Can Be Enjoyable P a g e | 203