Church is for the Deaf, My Christian Experience in the Bible
Belt
By Sage Mauldin
Oklahoma: The Buckle of the Bible Belt
When I was a teenager of innocent frivolity, I attended church on a semiregular basis – not because I wanted to, I thought I had to, to fit in with my
much-loved friends, in fear that I might be ostracized. No, I did not have to
attend church, but I did; I am glad I did: for I now know what churchgoers
believe, how they think and where their priorities lie.
I hail from Bartlesville, Oklahoma, a subdued, retirement community,
nestled in a valley on Cherokee land, that has more churches than banks –
and banks here are legion – with nothing ever to do. This place is a black
hole. Phillips 66 Company and ConocoPhillips are here – explaining the
multitude of banks. Bartlesville is quite flush with money.
Oklahoma is ultra-religious and ultra-conservative. The governor, Mary
Fallin, is an extreme right-wing conservative, who cares more about god
than the state’s education, which ranks abysmally at 43rd in the nation. I
am sure Fallin is an excellent churchgoer, but as a governor, she is a
stumblebum. If you have never been to Oklahoma, the buckle of the Bible
Belt, you now have a good sense of where it is I live -- a cave -- should you
ever visit.
A multimillion-dollar Methodist church, now the biggest church in town, has
recently been built to accommodate the faithful, while the foundation of a
multimillion-dollar Non-Denominational church is about to be poured.
Reportedly, its doors will open this time next year. Regardless of
Bartlesville’s affluence, homeless people, who are in dire need of food,
shelter and money, reside here. Yet, these self-righteous, sanctimonious
cretins erect palatial churches, in which to worship their capricious,
imaginary friend.
Is this revealing? Yes!
Is this surprising? No!
Guilt Trip
At a local Wesleyan church one cold, foggy, Sunday morning, the pastor - a
loud, rotund man, who perspires regularly - hypocritically told me, along
with every male in the congregation, that masturbation is sinful and amoral that I should not masturbate, lest I be damned to an eternity in hell. What
the preacher did not know: it was too late: my fate had already been sealed.
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