YOUNG PROFESSIONALS SAY NO TO BULLIES TOOLBOX YOUNG PROFESSIONALS SAY NO TO BULLIES TOOLBOX | Seite 13

“Young professionals! Say no to bullies!!!”
implement such virtues. There are also people for whom applying the same values seems much more
difficult. In both cases, though, the mentioned features can be trained, practised and developed.
4. Assertiveness
Assertiveness is the skill of expressing emotions, views, and opinions honestly, which allows
for defending your rights, with the simultaneous respect for others and their rights. Assertiveness is
also the skill of being able to say NO and defending your views in a constructive and specific manner,
which is based on facts, rather than opinions. Assertiveness manifests itself both in body language,
and vocabulary we use. The assertive person has a straight posture, raised head, keeps an eye contact
with the interlocutor and shows open attitude. Such a person is specific and clear, and bases his/her
ideas on facts, presenting his/her views with the phrases such as “I think that…”, “in my opinion…”,
“in my view…”. At the same time such a person asks his/her interlocutors about their opinions and
views.
The assertive person reacts when he/she feels that the boundaries are crossed and he/she is
hurt, offended, or treated badly. The assertive person clearly states that such behaviours are
unacceptable, and he/she wishes they would stop. If, however, there is no reaction, this person calmly
repeats the arguments and asks the interlocutor to abandon his/her intentions.
Mobbers often use groundless criticism just to offend their victims. The assertive reaction to
such a criticism may discourage mobbers from further negative behaviours and show him / her that
the harassed person is capable of self-defence and does not accept such practices. Criticism always
includes facts (objective elements in relation to the task, or project in progress) and opinions
(subjective attitude towards the realization of the task, or project). Facts should be agreed with, but
the opinions may be discussed / disputed, and reflected with your own views.
The example of the criticism and assertiveness:
“It is not done / made properly” – “I understand that you don’t like how it is done. I don’t
agree with you. In my opinion is done properly. Could you please let me know what you don’t like
it?”
Very often such a reaction gets on the aggressor’s nerves and he/she may start raising his/her
voice, react aggressively because he/she does not have any solid arguments based on facts which
would support his/her opinion. Under such circumstances, we should calmly keep repeating “Please,
don’t scream at me”, “Please stop offending me”.
Assertive behaviors can be learnt, and later practiced in various everyday situations.
Additionally, such skills may be learnt from the literature on subject, or from the training sessions
during which it is possible to learn and practice assertive attitudes.
Assertive people fight for their rights, talk about them, because they know that they deserve
them. Assertive people know that their merit is the same as the others’. Apart from assertive attitude,
there are also aggressive and submissive attitudes.
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'Informational and workshop guide for mobbing, discrimination and sexual harassment'