YODO; You Only Die Once June 2013 | Page 3

The Stuff Nightmares Are Made Of

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Fire/Smoke Inhalation. In elementary school, specifically grade one, my class went through the Risk Watch curriculum booklets that informed our young, impressionable minds about what to do in risky situations. Personally, it terrified me. We would work on our booklets every Friday and often, I would try to convince my mom to let me stay home with my six-year-old version of faking sick, which involved a lot of moaning, crying and retching, usually to no avail. I didn’t want to learn what to do when my house was burning down because it made me think about my house burning down. I remember wrapping all of my favourite belongings in a blanket and keeping it by the door so that I wouldn’t have to leave anything special behind if I had to leave in a hurry. I was one of those kids who actually made their parents test the fire alarms once a week and set out a family escape route. They humoured me for the most part but drew the line at the flame-retardant clothing and escape ladder for my window. They thought that I was obsessed with death (I wonder where they got that crazy idea), but it wasn’t my fault. From the frequency that which my teachers ad been repeating the “Stop, Drop, and Roll” instructions, I had thought it would be a lot more helpful and that spontaneous combustion occurred much more often than it obviously does. I’ve heard that dying by fire is the most painful way to die…I’m not sure who came up with that or how they determined how painful any death was, but that is a fear that has stayed with me for my whole life. The chance of you dying by fire or smoke inhalation is 1 in 1116, but when you’re as prepared (read paranoid) as I am, your chance gets a lot better (Britt).