spirit
NEAR DEATH EXPERINCE
FORGIVE
Give up hope for a different past. What’s done is
done. Let it go. I don’t condone some of the things my wife
did to betray me, but if I keep rehashing them in my mind, I
only become angry, which does me no good. I cannot
change the past. By focusing on the present I am happy,
because we have each committed to mending our
marriage and the relationship we have built now is so
good.
Moreover, I have recognized my part in driving my wife to
do the things she did, so I cannot blame her entirely, either.
To move forward, I had to forgive myself for my faults and
change them.
LOVE
Be fully present when talking with your significant other.
Put down your phone. Turn off the TV. Close your
computer. Give him/her your undivided attention. We now
have an understanding in our home. After 6:00, when my
wife comes home from work the “office is closed.” I don’t
answer calls or get on the computer for the rest of the
evening. It is “our” time.
Mudita. Before my NDE, my marriage was what I call
“vertical.” I was the head of the family, and everyone,
including my wife, was below me. Although my wife had a
successful career of her own as a family dentist, I expected
her to shop, cook, take care of the children, and cater to
my needs and wants. If we were going to do something
together, we almost always did what I wanted- my choice
of restaurant, movie, vacation spot, etc. My wife was
unhappy and lonely, but I never knew it (or cared to know
it) because she never felt safe enough to tell me that. Now
I am much more sensitive to her desires, and follow her
lead more often than not. Making her happy is now my
happiness (and I have grown an appreciation for so many
things that I might not have experienced otherwise). The
Sanskrit word “Mudita” describes feeling joy in another
person’s happiness. If you can be truly happy for another
person, your heart will be full.
HEAL
Meditate. If you are angry or in despair, find a meditation
that works for you - a simple breath meditation, perhaps -
and discipline yourself to meditate (or recite a prayer, if that
resonates with you) on a regular basis to help find a calm
removed from the emotional overwhelm you are feeling.
When you elevate your level of consciousness in
meditation or prayer, the pain of the trauma lessens so that
you can begin to heal.
Give selflessly. The Sanskrit word “Seva” describes a kind of
love in action. When you help someone without any
70 YOGIC HERALD JAN 2018