Xtraordinary Women Magazine October 2014 | Page 39
Conversations with a Zen Coach
(Part I)
As a Zen Coach I get asked curious questions
about what I do, so I thought it would be a good
idea to answer them here too! If you feel inspired
and want to know more, please come say
[email protected]!
1. What is Zen Coaching?
People usually come to coaching when they feel stuck or their lives are imbalanced; when they
are searching for purpose or for connection with themselves or the world; when they feel
unease and they need change and new possibilities in their lives; when they finally want to
give their dreams a try and they need someone to cheer them on… Coaching supports you in
moving forwards, in getting from where you are today to where you want to be, learning an
improved way of thinking and functioning along the way. With Zen Coaching you get to
advance on your goals and something more – and this is what makes Zen Coaching so
special – you also learn to simply be, instead of doing all the time! It is a very practical and
grounded form of coaching, whilst also being a journey to get to know yourself better and to
learn to live in tune with your own voice. In the end, everything you achieve, all the changes
you make in your life, come from a place of true connection to yourself, a place of integrity.
2. What does it mean to ‘simply be’?
In Zen Coaching there is nothing to fix, no right or wrong, nowhere to go and nothing to do –
just curiosity about truth. By relaxing into being with whatever shows up in a session,
comfortable or not (it’s all ok!), instead of trying to turn it around or push it away (i.e., our usual
instinct to do something about everything!), you take some distance from the struggle with
everyday drama, and you access a place of clarity where you know what you need to do next.
You ‘see’ the solutions inside and, more importantly, without struggle. Anything other than
relaxing into being is an effort! And effortlessness is key to Zen Coaching, and we all could do
with more ease in our lives!
3. The message we normally get from the world is to always be positive, so how come
Zen Coaching advocates staying with the discomfort?
This is a radical approach and that is precisely the reason it works at a deep level. There
seems to be a mathematical principle: the more we avoid looking into our pain, the longer the
pain stays in our lives! Through coaching, in a safe, trusting space, staying with the discomfort
with open curiosity, for a little while longer than a normal conversation would allow, at some
point the energy changes…And insights happen and a way out is seen automatically and
effortlessly. Clients discover this again and again. Neuroscience research also supports this
way in which the brain comes out of the ‘pain of current reality’ as long as it has been allowed
to stay in it sufficiently... It’s just the way the world works, it seems! The more we allow
ourselves to experience darkness, the more light we will see! But there is something else here
too, that is really important: by allowing life to show up as it is, we are actually honoring it. We
are treating ourselves with respect and allowing ourselves the dignity of learning and growing
with life, every moment. We are choosing to use our awareness to take responsibility for our
lives. I always ask myself: if I don’t do it, who on earth will?!
4. So what does a Zen Coaching session involve?
We use all the information contained in the present moment, because being conscious,
mindful of the present moment, is all we need. In our sessions, we enter into a space of being: