Writers Tricks of the Trade Volume 6, Issue 5 | Page 16

LIFE STORIES (CONT’D.) bag, He explained it contained the candle to burn for the next seven days, a prayer book and some of Ethel’s personal effects. My husband didn’t look in the bag until after we got home that night. I was in another room when I heard a commotion in the kitchen. My husband was loudly shouting something I couldn’t understand. Was he hurt? What happened? I ran into the kitchen and saw the contents of the bag on the kitchen counter. In addition to the candle, THERE was the pink dress—the one Ethel should have worn in posterity. My husband went into action. He phoned his brother and the two of them decided, right then, to call the funeral home and wake up someone in charge; THIS ERROR MUST BE CORRECTED. Early the next week, Ethel was brought up from the ground, re-dressed, and another ceremony was held. This time, the sons did lift the lid of the casket to make sure their mother was in her pink dress —she was. They might have also seen just a hint of a smile on Ethel’s face. Her sons had come through for her as ordered—AND Ethel received two pre-paid burials for the price of one. Actually, I miss Ethel and all that went with her, as I miss my own mother, as well. Where do we, as adults, now go for advice? Well, in past years, we would go to Oprah. She told us how to decorate, when to pay off credit-card debt, what to do if our husbands leave us for another woman—or another man—and how to otherwise declutter our lives. I’m not sure my husband has been as fond of Oprah as I am. I think he just asks, “What would Ethel do?” when he needs advice. And I know he NEVER goes to Oprah’s website where still MORE advice is available for the taking. I’m too far along in life myself to make many changes now, but here is one piece of wisdom that I have taken to heart. It’s something my mother and my husband’s mother might have overlooked. This advice actually comes from Oprah’s website: “A very big purse can make your butt look smaller.” Thank you.  ABOUT DIANE TAYLOR Diane Taylor has been a Chicago corporate communicator most of her life. After moving to Las Vegas, she began a free-lance career writing for her former employer and an on-line tradeshow publication. Now her stories can also be found in the Las Vegas Review-Journal. Diane loves the local entertainment scene, and can often be found reading her humorous stories on Monday nights at the Bootlegger in Las Vegas. Her game is live poker. Diane often thinks about a diet and occasionally is on one. Her writing interests include the Las Vegas convention scene, true stories with a humorous angle, and the many interesting people in the Las Vegas valley. Diane also serves as Secretary of the Writers of Southern Nevada, which sponsors & produces the popular "Painted Stories" events as well as discussion groups interested in writing. SEPTEMBER-OCTOBER 2016 PAGE 8 WRITERS’ TRICKS OF THE TRADE