Deep POV( Cont’ d)
the page, but also create a distance between character and reader. They are unrelated to the“ real life experience” of deep point of view.
How often do you think, I’ m thinking? Or I’ m wondering if I’ ll get a raise. How often do you think, Oh, I see bad boys up ahead.?
You don’ t. And your character shouldn’ t either. He will think. He will wonder. He will see, hear, feel, but he won’ t add the filter words. He’ ll just do it.
EXAMPLE: He felt the pain shoot through his gut and wondered if he was going to die.
The reader is kept at a distance. We hear the character’ s thoughts but don’ t feel what the character feels. We are told about these feelings and as a result there is a filter between the reader and character.
Deep: Pain shot through his gut, and he clutched his stomach. This was it. He was going to die.
No thinking. Just the facts. The reader is drawn in a little.
Deeper: Pain shot through his gut. He clutched his stomach and doubled over. This was it. The end. He should’ ve called his mother this morning. She was the only one who understood.
This is not deep POV: She gasped and ran. She gasped and ran. Big deal. What’ s going on in her head?
Try this: She took off running, looked over a shoulder, and nearly tripped, but staggered ahead. Where was the guy? A second ago, he was right on her heels, gun pointed at the back of her head. Should she stop and check?
Describe the scene the way your POV character experiences it.
For example, if I walk into my home office, my eye goes to the chair where I left a pile of laundry to put away. Darn laundry. If an art student walks in, she’ ll probably notice the Picasso above my desk, and then she’ ll think about the one on her own easel. Someone writing fantasy novels might notice the dragon figurine peering over the edge of the file cabinet, and then think about the fairy figurine her grandpa gave her. My best friend would notice the case of soda beside the file cabinet because I swore off it. So I hide it in my office. As a bit of a perfectionist, he’ d also notice the painting is slightly off center. Me, I notice the painting’ s deep blue colors and stunning moonlight. The important thing is that different people notice different things. Make sure your character is noticing things only they would see.
WRITERS’ TRICKS OF THE TRADE
PAGE 9
MAY- JUNE 2016