Deep POV ( Cont ’ d )
the page , but also create a distance between character and reader . They are unrelated to the “ real life experience ” of deep point of view .
How often do you think , I ’ m thinking ? Or I ’ m wondering if I ’ ll get a raise . How often do you think , Oh , I see bad boys up ahead .?
You don ’ t . And your character shouldn ’ t either . He will think . He will wonder . He will see , hear , feel , but he won ’ t add the filter words . He ’ ll just do it .
EXAMPLE : He felt the pain shoot through his gut and wondered if he was going to die .
The reader is kept at a distance . We hear the character ’ s thoughts but don ’ t feel what the character feels . We are told about these feelings and as a result there is a filter between the reader and character .
Deep : Pain shot through his gut , and he clutched his stomach . This was it . He was going to die .
No thinking . Just the facts . The reader is drawn in a little .
Deeper : Pain shot through his gut . He clutched his stomach and doubled over . This was it . The end . He should ’ ve called his mother this morning . She was the only one who understood .
This is not deep POV : She gasped and ran . She gasped and ran . Big deal . What ’ s going on in her head ?
Try this : She took off running , looked over a shoulder , and nearly tripped , but staggered ahead . Where was the guy ? A second ago , he was right on her heels , gun pointed at the back of her head . Should she stop and check ?
Describe the scene the way your POV character experiences it .
For example , if I walk into my home office , my eye goes to the chair where I left a pile of laundry to put away . Darn laundry . If an art student walks in , she ’ ll probably notice the Picasso above my desk , and then she ’ ll think about the one on her own easel . Someone writing fantasy novels might notice the dragon figurine peering over the edge of the file cabinet , and then think about the fairy figurine her grandpa gave her . My best friend would notice the case of soda beside the file cabinet because I swore off it . So I hide it in my office . As a bit of a perfectionist , he ’ d also notice the painting is slightly off center . Me , I notice the painting ’ s deep blue colors and stunning moonlight . The important thing is that different people notice different things . Make sure your character is noticing things only they would see .
WRITERS ’ TRICKS OF THE TRADE
PAGE 9
MAY - JUNE 2016