Writers Tricks of the Trade Issue 2 Volume 9 | Page 16

Y OU D ON ’ T S AY !
NOUNS MASQUERADING AS VERBS
LET ’ S ALL GO TO A MASQUERADE BALL
By Mike Dennis and Morgan St. James
Mike and Morgan explore the pitfalls of the English language, because so many words are misused. From
words that sound alike, to ones that almost sound alike—redundancies, oxymorons and words that don’t re-
ally exist but are used every day. The list goes on, and we’re going to have fun with them in every issue
Y ES , YOU ’ RE INVITED !
 D RESS UP ! P RETEND ! I NDULGE YOUR MOST CRAVEN FANTASY !
B ECAUSE THE GUEST OF HONOR WILL BE …N OUNS MASQUERADING AS VERBS !
MIKE: And we all know that no mask, no
costume, no veil can possibly be more
fiendish that a noun gussied up like a verb.
So let your imagination run wild, because
no matter how vile your desires, you cannot
outdo the guest of honor .
MORGAN: Please run down the guest list
so we can see what you’re talking about.
MIKE: Okay, here is one of my favorites:
Wine And Dine. Okay, that’s two, not one,
but who’s counting.
MORGAN: But, Mike—
MIKE: I already know what you’re thinking.
I can just hear you saying it. “Wait a minute.
‘Dine’ is already a verb! So there’s no sub-
terfuge there. No devilish attempt to con-
S UMMER 2019
fuse us and make us say wrong things.
‘Dine’ is fine.”
MORGAN: I’ve gotta hand it to you. You
read my mind. Why are you including dine?
MIKE: Ah, but “Dine” is an intransitive
verb. In other words, it isn’t designed to
carry a direct object. Under the “wine and
dine” cloak, it becomes transitive, a verb
wrapped in a noun-like phrase repackaged
as a verb. In my book, that’s subterfuge of
the highest order.
MORGAN: Wait a minute. What are you
actually saying?
MIKE: Oh, Morgan. You see how they reel
you in. They get you to use “dine” as a tran-
sitive verb just once, (“We wined and dined
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W RITERS ’ T RICKS OF THE T RADE