Writers Tricks of the Trade Issue 2 Volume 8 | Page 14

Y OU D ON ’ T S AY !
O XYMORONS
“Oxymoron?”
Mike Dennis
Mike and Morgan explore the pitfalls of the English language, because so many words are misused.
From words that sound alike, to ones that almost sound alike—redundancies, oxymorons and words
that don’t really exist but are used every day. The list goes on, and we’re going to have fun with them in
every issue
A
s with many other literary and rhetorical devices, oxymorons are used for a variety of pur-
poses. Sometimes they are used to create some sort of drama for the reader or listener, and
sometimes they are used to make the person stop and think, whether it's to laugh or to
ponder.
One famous oxymoron is the phrase "the same difference." This phrase qualifies as an oxymo-
ron because the words "same" and "difference" have completely opposite meanings. Therefore,
bringing them together into one phrase produces a verbally puzzling, yet engaging, effect.
MIKE SAYS: MORGAN SAYS:
“I sort of like OLD NEWS. I wonder
how old it has to get before we stop
calling it news. Yeah, those oxymorons never stop, do
they Mike? Here’s one that I actually
like: ‘GOLD SILVERWARE.” You know, I
actually have some I bought years ago.
Where are those 15th century
alchemists when you need them? It’s
probably gold electroplated over
stainless. Hmmph. Silverware?
Then, there’s that expression
CONTROLLED CHAOS. Well, if you
ask me, it’s a good thing that chaos
is controlled—we certainly wouldn’t
want it to really get chaotic! Last
time I looked, chaos meant bedlam
or even pandemonium.
So, Morgan, my last contribution is
GENUINE IMMITATION. You know, I
sure wouldn’t want to get stuck with
any of those FAKE IMMITATIONS. At
least I know a genuine imitation is
the real thing.”
W RITERS ’ T RICKS OF THE T RADE
What about “THIS PAGE
INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK?”
Excuse me. If there are words on a
page, it isn’t blank.
How about DEATH BENEFITS? It may
sound a bit morbid, but seeing the
expression so often actually makes it
sound like there’s a benefit to being
dead. Somehow, I can’t see any.
P AGE 9
S UMMER 2018