“Not that bad? On what planet?”
“It’s just sex. She wants to—you want to. Don’t be stupid.”
IX.
I pulled away and banged my knee on the steering wheel. “I can’t,” I said. “We have to stop. I don’t have anything.”
“We don’t have to stop.” She leaned over and whispered in my ear, “I’m on the pill.” Then she did this crazy thing with her tongue and I was ready to let go. She’s on the pill, right. And I didn’t want to be a priest. But I didn’t want to be a father either—at least not yet.
X.
“Do you really want to spend eternity in hell because you could not control your lust?”
Pastor Karl paused for dramatic effect and we stirred restlessly in our seats. It was as if he knew our deepest secrets. As if he knew Lisa and I secretly held hands while he lectured. As if he knew Sean and Todd were kissing in the mop room at our teen lock-in. As if he knew that Ka-ren and Corey went “all the way” three weeks ago and that Karen was pregnant, a fact Karen and Corey would not know for a few more weeks. He continued, “Even if you don’t get preg-nant, even if you don’t catch a vile disease—sex before marriage will ruin you for your spouse—and for the Lord.” Pastor Karl looked at each one of us—into our eyes—and we looked away.
XI.
I climbed the ladder to the old tree fort we built all those years ago and pushed on the locked door. Aaron had rediscovered our childhood hideout in the woods this past summer, after he split with Sarah. He had fixed the door with a new lock and reclaimed this place as his own. I stood under the door for a moment, thinking—trying to remember. Then I knocked the secret knock and waited in the silent woods for a few seconds. “Dude,” I said, “I know you’re in there. Open up.”
“Not till you do the knock right.”
“Come on, open up.”
The latch opened and the door swung up.