WRITERS ABROAD MAGAZINE: THE THIRD SPACE
Following a profusion of pushing, prodding and profanities, Tom eventually
ejected a perplexed Marguerite from the wheelbarrow, left her with Farmer
Jacques for the day and returned to collect her that evening. After many earnest
entreaties (much to Farmer Jacques’ amusement), Tom finally managed to
persuade the reluctant Marguerite into the wheelbarrow. ‘I will drop her off again
tomorrow,’ said Tom, ‘though I have a question. How will I know if she is
pregnant?’
Farmer Jacques decided he would have some fun at Tom’s expense and
envisaged enjoying many Pastis-filled hours with his friends, recounting the
developing tale of the English fool, his cow and his wheelbarrow. ‘Well,’ he said,
looking directly at Tom, ‘if in the morning she is pawing the ground, then she’s
pregnant. If she’s behaving normally then you must bring her again.’
‘Pawing—pregnant. Normal—not. Ok, that’s easy to remember.’ Tom shook
hands with Farmer Jacques and thanked him.
Farmer Jacques chuckled and thought to himself, ‘A cow pawing the ground
I have rarely seen. He will be backwards and forwards with his cow and his
wheelbarrow for weeks.’ He watched with glee as poor Tom struggled up the slope,
sliding back one step for every two he gained.
For two weeks farmer Jacques enjoyed the twice daily spectacle of Tom’s
exertions with his Marguerite filled wheelbarrow, by which time poor Tom was at
the end of his strength. Marguerite, for her part, was having a good time. Farmer
Jacques had seen his bull holding up his end of the bargain with considerable
enthusiasm on a number of occasions.
One morning while on the lookout for Tom, Farmer Jacques answered his
telephone.
‘Is that Farmer Jacques? This is Tom speaking. There has been a development
with Marguerite this morning.’
‘Oh. Is she pawing the ground?’ enquired farmer Jacques.
‘No.’
‘Is she behaving normally?’
‘No.’
‘So, is she behaving strangely?’
‘In a manner of speaking,’ replied Tom
‘Well?’ Farmer Jacques was intrigued, ‘What is she doing?’
‘She’s sitting in the wheelbarrow.’
35 | MAY 2017