Worship Musician October 2019 | Page 76

WORSHIP LEADERS HOW TO BE LOVED (AND RESPECTED) BY YOUR TEAM, PART 1 | Jon Nicol “Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. team and erode respect for your leadership. I want people to be afraid of how much they putting the health and development of the team over our own personal comfort. You can get a love me.” (Michael Scott, Regional Manager, 2) CREATE CLEAR ROLES AND EXPECTATIONS clearer picture of that with this next leadership Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company, Inc.) Be abundantly clear about what you expect lesson.  and what each person’s responsibility is on the If you’re a fan of The Office, you’re chuckling team. (Hint: you probably need written team 5) TERMINATE THE TOXIC right now. If you’re not a fan of The Office, it’s expectations and job descriptions for each Tackle toxic attitudes within your team directly OK—no one’s perfect. (That was a joke, alright? role.) and quickly. The longer you let someone with a Don’t send me angry emails.) bad attitude or toxic behavior run loose within Clear expectations won’t necessarily make your ministry, the more your team suffers. By Even if you’ve never seen the show, just from your team members love or respect you. But not confronting a toxic person, you’re putting that quote you can guess what kind of boss they keep you from arbitrarily imposing rules or your personal comfort before the welfare and Michael Scott is. He has a deep, insecure having different standards with different people. health of your team.  longing to be liked by his team. But he also If you do that, your team definitely won’t respect desperately craves their respect. Michael you (or even like you). But what if that person is your best or most swings from being an awkward goofball to talented _____? It's even more critical. a demeaning creep. That works great for a 3) DON’T BE THE BEST, BUILD THE BEST Toxic trumps talent, always. No level of skill sitcom, but it would be miserable real life. Too many worship ministry leaders feel pressure at any position is worth a relational cancer to be 'the best' on the team. As the leader, destroying your team from the inside.  If you’re a worship ministry leader, you walk you want to be good at whatever role you’re that same tightrope. You want your team to like playing—worship leader, vocalist, guitarist, And after confronting that toxic person, if he/ you and enjoy being around you. But you also set planner, etc. But to grow a healthy team she can’t or won’t change, you have to fire want to be respected and get results. (That’s culture, you have value others' achievements them. What you lose in musical talent and skill absolutely normal, by the way. I mean, if you’re more than your own. you’ll gain tenfold in a healthier team—and one at least part human.) that respects you for making tough decisions. Invest your time, energy, and budget into Why? Because if you don’t get rid of a talented- I’m going to share ten lessons (over this two- helping each of your team members reach but-toxic person, you will communicate to part series) to help you be the kind of leader your their full potential. Look for ways to put others your team that you value performance above team will love and respect. And just assume that in the spotlight. That will mean checking your people. And that makes the next leadership I learned all of these leadership lessons the hard ego often. People want to follow someone who lesson difficult—which we’ll start with in Part 2. way. (Because I did. I pray you don’t have to.)  believes and invests in them. They don’t want 1) WHEN IT’S TIME TO LEAD, LEAD to be used for someone else's glorification In the meantime, think/pray/journal around this project. question: Which of these leadership lessons do I used to ask my team members their opinion I need to dig into right now, and why? on everything during rehearsal—transitions, 4) BE OK WITH NOT BEING LIKED song arrangements, scriptures, etc. Finally, an That seems counter to the title. But if you’re older, wiser team member came to me and concerned with your team ‘liking’ you, you will said, “Jon, we’ve been at work all day. We just never be a good leader. For most of us, it's want you to make the decisions.”  never fun to be the ‘bad guy’ or ‘the heavy.’ There are times to get input from your team Too often, we value our own comfort more members. But that’s not all the time. An over- than we value the relationships and the health dependence on consensus will frustrate your of the team. But being a great leader means 76 October 2019 Jon Nicol Jon’s the founder of WorshipWorkshop.com and WorshipTeamCoach.com, two sites that help worship leaders build strong teams and lead engaging worship. He lives and serves in Lexington, Ohio with his wife Shannon and their four kids. WorshipWorkshop.com WorshipTeamCoach.com Subscribe for Free...