just because I was on, and it was our community you! I’ll always believe.” And of course he failed (laughs) I would much rather not say anything
and they’d taken us in. We were given a little that test. But the kindness of God kept hold of and just go about my business, but that’s not
apartment behind the church to stay in. It made Peter, and in the end it was Peter, the one who what humans are supposed to do. And it’s not
all the sense in the world for me to step into had doubted and denied Jesus, who led the what Jesus asks us to do either.
community that morning and meet with God. disciples out of Pentecost and into the move There was nothing about it that felt weird then. of God that birthed the church. I’ve found that [WM] Was it a learning process as someone
It would have felt weird not to be doing that. tremendously comforting. Our struggles with who is used to giving of themselves so much
There have been subsequent moments that faith cannot supersede the goodness of God. and then having the tables turned – having to
have been tough though, like leading the kids in The other story was Thomas. He gets a bad rap learn how to receive from others?
family devotions in the evening. That’s probably because he’s the doubting guy. But Ger said, been the most challenging aspect of all this. “You don’t have to shy away from doubts. God [Brenton] Horrendous! (laughs) Absolutely
Because to see them process loss and try to is kind enough as a Father and as a friend to terrible! For an individualized male from the
get their heads around the goodness of God in meet you right at the point of your unbelief.” West it’s just the very last thing you want to be
a fallen and often messed up world is hard. As When Thomas articulated the need his doubts doing. You don’t want to be receiving anything.
a Dad you want to be able to protect and keep presented, Jesus addressed the need. “Unless You want to be saying, “I got this! Let me do
your kids safe and cushion them from some of I see Him I’m not going to believe Him” and the giving!” But I kind of sensed the whisper of
the harsher realities of life, and in this instance Jesus responded with, “Okay I’m gonna meet the Holy Spirit in it, just saying that this is part
that just hasn’t been an option. That’s been the you right where you’re struggling. I’m gonna let of it. This is part of what it means to love and
hardest thing to carry I think. you put your hand on these scars and see.” be loved, and if you refuse the acts of love that
But of course living through it is different to the people of God and God Himself shed on
Two things were told to me that have proved talking about it. There have been moments, you, you’re not receiving Jesus. I won’t pretend
really helpful. One was something Kathleen as I’ve led worship and performed this year, that at any point it’s been easy. It’s vulnerable.
Doyle, one of our pastors, said. When Jesus where I learned the meaning of the expression It’s vulnerable to acknowledge need, and it’s
said to Peter, “Hey, you’re about to lose “Vulnerability hangover”. The journey we’re vulnerable to accept help, there are so many
confidence in me, but don’t worry I’ve got a hold going through leaves us raw and vulnerable. aspects of this that involve vulnerability. But
of you. You won’t be pulled from my hands.” And often the day after talking about how there’s no escaping it now. (laughs)
Peter was like, “No, I’ll never lose confidence in we’re doing I’m wishing I hadn’t said anything.
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March 2019
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