WORSHIP TEAM COACH
[ HOW TO SAY “NO” WHEN A MUSICIAN ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH | Jon Nicol ]
Jake recently applied to be on your worship a gift to the person hearing it. If Jake takes the team. On paper, he looks good: Jake played “No” with the right attitude, he will either work to guitar for several years, had prior worship develop his skills or, maybe, more importantly, BE QUICK.
ministry experience at another church, and got he’ll realize that he’s far more gifted to serve in As soon as it’s clear in your audition process,
a two-thumbs-up character reference from his other areas. do it. And don’t try to soften the blow by talking
current small group leader.
around the issue. Dragging out the conversation
It’s always better to serve from giftedness than
But the first one-on-one interview told a
and the lead the person on.
to avoid saying “No” is painful for both of you.
wishfulness.
BE AN ADULT.
different story: Jake struggled to play in time.
He mainly chopped open chords and didn’t So, it’s easy to talk about this, but what if you Emailing a “Dear Jake” letter would be so
bother learning the actual guitar parts. And have a “Jake” right now. How do you say “No”? much easier than talking face-to-face. And a
when he sang, uh, yeah... But you scheduled Before you say anything, you need to determine phone call is tempting, too. But this isn’t junior
a full band audition anyway. You chalked up what kind of “No” it is. Is it outright, end-of- high. Jake is a member of your church family
Jake’s pitchy-ness to nerves, and his lack discussion “No”? Or something different— who has put himself out there and deserves a
of practice on the fact that he came from a maybe a “Not Yet”, or a “Not Here”. respectful, in-person conversation.
the full band audition the presence of a click More often than not, we need to give the BE FOR THEM.
track, microphone, and other musicians just unequivocal “No”: “I’m sorry, you just aren’t at Help this person know you care for him and
accentuated his deficiencies. the musical level we need for our team.” appreciate his vulnerability of auditioning for the
At this point, you have two choices: But sometimes a “Not Yet” is what’s needed. 1. Short-term easy/long-term pain. “We see promise in you, Jake, but you need to BE SMART.
2. Short-term pain/long-team healthy. develop in these three areas…” Before you tell someone “No,” inform your
smaller church with different standards. But at
team.
senior pastor (or direct supervisor) about this
The first option is just to say, “Yes.” That’s easy, Be realistic and specific about what the decision (and make sure he has your back). If
but that’s not healthy. person needs to work on. Don’t blow smoke this thing goes sideways, will your church split?
just because you’re scared of saying “No”. Probably not. Will you want to split? Definitely.
The second option is to say, “I’m sorry, Jake. Occasionally, you may find a situation where The answer is no.” That’s painful—for both someone could use their musical gifts in BE FUTURE-FOCUSED.
Jake and you. But that’s the healthy choice— another ministry within your church, even Don’t let the current need for musicians and
not only for the team but Jake as well. though they’re not at the standard of the main techs cloud your vision.
worship team.
If you go for the easy “Yes,” Jake will never quite
Remember, it’s easier to disqualify someone
fit. He musically can’t measure up, and would Now, don’t just use “Not Here” and unload before they join the team than it is to remove
frustrate you and the other team members. And people on Celebrate Recovery, the youth band, them after. (That might be worth reading again.)
deep down, no matter how much he wishes to or the children’s choir because you don’t want be on the team, he’d recognize this and be to hurt someone’s feelings.
So, embrace the short-term pain of “No” as part
frustrated too.
your duty as the shepherd of your team. Who
So if the answer is a definite “No”, what then? you let in (and keep out) will help determine the
“No” does two things: Here are a few tips: long-term health and direction of your worship
First, it protects your team from the frustration BE HONEST. of trying to involve someone who doesn’t fit Respect the person enough to give him/her a musically, relationally, and/or spiritually. truthful answer (without being brutal). But don’t Second, even though it doesn’t feel like it, it’s waffle or hedge. Ambiguity can offer false hope
ministry.
62
March 2018
Jon Nicol
The founder of WorshipTeamCoach.com, a resource
that helps worship leaders build strong teams and
lead engaging worship. He lives in Lexington, Ohio
with his wife Shannon and their four kids.
WorshipTeamCoach.com
WorshipMusician.com