appropriately .
• Identify and deal with their own sense of entitlement .
If you ’ re not talking about and training on this kind of stuff , your team isn ’ t getting better at it .
9 . YOU CHOOSE NOT TO ‘ DISINVITE ’ SOMEONE WHO CLEARLY DOESN ’ T BELONG ON THE TEAM . This goes beyond excusing bad behavior . ( See # 6 .) When someone is clearly dragging down the culture of the team with attitude and / or behavior — and there ’ s no sign of positive progress — you ’ ve got to ask him to step down . Or at least take a break .
When you remove that person , you and your team will feel a lightness and freedom that you realized wasn ’ t present any time that person was scheduled . Removing someone from the team is never fun . But sometimes it is necessary .
10 . YOUR OR YOUR TEAM ’ S “ GOOD NATURED ” JOKING CROSSES THE LINE INTO TEARING DOWN . I ’ m all for having a good time . But sarcasm and joking go too far too often . I saw the effects of it on my team and had to work intentionally to curb it — both in myself and my team members . It ’ s never acceptable for one person ’ s “ fun ” to be another person ’ s wounded soul — no matter how ‘ slight ’ the slight is .
Speaking of joking gone wrong …
11 . YOU ATTEMPT TO CONFRONT AN ISSUE THROUGH A JOKE OR SARCASTIC REMARK . It ’ s easy to use ‘ good-natured ’ joking as veiled attempts to address poor behavior . We think we ’ re being nice . But veiling confrontation in a joke is really a combination of passiveaggression and the fear of confrontation . Here are some examples .
You might say , “ Hey , nice of you to join us today ,” to a latecomer . Or to the ‘ all- tenfingers-all-the-time keyboardist : “ Wow , you overplay better than anyone I know .” ( OK , that one ’ s funny . But still not healthy .)
These jokes don ’ t tackle the real problem . Also , people on the receiving end resent it big time . And worse , it opens the door for others to subtly tear each other down . ( See # 10 .)
Did I forget to mention a ‘ bonus ’ twelfth sign that you ’ re enabling toxic behavior ?
12 . YOU ’ RE STILL PUTTING OFF CRUCIAL CONVERSATIONS . An ongoing continuation of # 3 is a sure sign you ’ re allowing bad behavior and toxic attitudes to go unchecked .
HOW DO WE FIX THIS ? Here are the five , most important words when it comes to team culture : “ You get what you tolerate .” ( Read that again . It ’ s such a critical leadership lesson we all have to learn .)
If you ’ re human , you ’ ve committed multiple of these ‘ toxic tolerations ’ over your years as a leader . And there ’ s a good chance you ’ re still committing one or more . Like I said in the beginning , I ’ m right there with you .
So how do we fix this ? How do we stop tolerating toxic behavior ? Here ’ s where we need to look . Whenever I see a people problem in teams I work with or lead , I know without a doubt that there ’ s at least one system problem somewhere in the organization .
For the past several issues , I ’ ve been talking about Eight Essential Growth Engines for your worship team . A ‘ growth engine ’ is a collection of the systems and processes in each area of your ministry that produce a set of outcomes .
Not only do these engines make your worship ministry go , they also make it grow . But progress and improvement only happen when you ’ re intentional . Otherwise , these growth engines just keep producing what they ’ ve always produced . It ’ s that five-word leadership lesson : “ You get what you tolerate .”
While multiple Growth Engines factor into fixing this issue of toxic team members , the primary one is Communication . I know , that sounds like texting , email , and PCO notifications . And a team ’ s system of communication does involve that stuff .
But the ministry system of Communication also involves clarifying and articulating your vision , values , and expectations . And once you have those expectations , Communication also plays into how you uphold those ( accountability ).
Space doesn ’ t allow for us to go deeper here , but I ’ ve created a page that will give you tools to go further with this Growth Engine by learning how to uphold clear expectations . Also , all the additional resources for each Growth Engine from past articles is on that page . There ’ s no sign-up required to access the page , and all the resources there are free .
The primary tool I want to give you for this Growth Engine is a workshop I recently taught called , “ How to Lead Your Worship Team With Authority ( Without Feeling Like a Jerk ).” I teach you how to create a clear vision ( where are you going and why ) and expectations ( how you ’ re getting to the vision ). But most importantly , we talk about accountability – how to uphold those standards with both authority and grace .
Learning to confront toxic behavior in a healthy way is one of the toughest leadership challenges for worship leaders . But if you want to build a team that can make every Sunday exceptional , you need to learn how to hold your team accountable with both grace and healthy authority .
Jon Nicol Jon lives in the middle of Ohio with his wife Shannon and their four kids . He ’ s the founder of WorshipTeamCoach . com and WorshipWorkshop . com , two sites that help worship leaders make every Sunday exceptional . If you ’ d like to connect with Jon for coaching or mentoring ,
visit this page . WorshipWorkshop . com WorshipTeamCoach . com