Worship Musician Magazine September 2020 | Page 60

WORSHIP LEADERS
12 TACTICS TO CONFRONT POOR PREPARATION | Jon Nicol
If you're like 95% of worship leaders (who hate
conflict), the title of this article just made your
blood pressure rise and chest tighten. "Yes, I
want my slackers to practice more. Yes, I want
my team to embrace higher standards. But
confront them about it? Uh…maybe later."
If you're like the other 5% (who are confrontational),
you're thinking Christmas just came early. "Yes!
Someone's giving me permission to do what
comes so natural—dropping the hammer!"
These twelve tactics are designed with a two-fold
purpose: One, to help those who are conflictaverse
have more confidence to have tough
conversations. Two, to help those who thrive on
conflict have more grace-filled conversations.
Here they are…
1. PRAISE IN PUBLIC; CRITIQUE IN PRIVATE.
This one is pretty self-explanatory. But there's a
subtle trap to be aware of. If you're a leader who
likes to joke with your team,' public' criticisms
can slip through veiled in sarcastic humor: "Wow,
I can tell you really practiced that song, Tommy."
This approach is both passive-aggressive and
poor leadership. So guard your tongue against
snarky comments and save negative feedback
for grace-filled, one-on-one conversations.
2. DO IT ASAP.
The longer you wait, the tougher it becomes. Often,
you lose the window of effectiveness. Or worse,
procrastination can intensify the confrontation.
When leaders let the issues pile up, it's too easy
to vomit out all those grievances at once. That's a
tough conversation to come back from.
3. NEVER CONFRONT BEFORE A WORSHIP SERVICE
(UNLESS IT'S CRUCIAL).
If you've ever been confronted about an issue
right before leading worship, you know how
that can affect how you lead worship. It messes
with your mojo. I vowed to never do it to a team
member unless it absolutely couldn't wait until
after church, or better yet, later in the week.
4. DO IT IN PERSON.
Or over the phone if necessary. Never in an email
or text. Written communication lacks the tone
and body language that's needed for grace-filled
confrontation. People will read into your words
anger or other negative emotions you didn't
intend.
5. KNOW THE PERSON.
Different people require different approaches.
For some people, you'll likely need to sandwich
criticism in the middle of some praise. But some
people just prefer constructive criticism straight
up—don't beat around the bush with them.
6. BE SPECIFIC.
Point towards specific events. Avoid vague
generalizations. Instead of, "You got off the click
tonight,” try this, "As we were rehearsing 'Be
Thou My Vision,' you got off the beat when you
came in on the second verse."
7. SEPARATE THE OFFENSE FROM THE PERSON.
"It seems you're speeding up the tempo” versus
"You've got a lousy sense of time." Do you hear
the difference?
8. STATE HOW THE BEHAVIOR AFFECTS OTHERS.
"The team is often unsure of who to follow when
you stray from the tempo. It makes it tough to
play tight when we're not all in time." Or even,
"We're distracting to the congregation when
we're struggling to find the tempo." Most team
members don't think about how their lack of
practice affects the whole church.
9. USE QUESTIONS.
“How do you feel that song went?" “What are you
focusing on when you practice at home?" “What
all are you hearing in your monitor?"
10. SUGGEST SOLUTIONS
"Would it help to turn the click up in your
monitor?" "Are you able to take time and practice
with a metronome between now and Sunday? I
think that will be helpful."
With both of the last tactics, asking questions
and suggesting solutions, watch your tone. It'd
be easy for these questions and suggestions to
come off condescending or sarcastic, even if you
don't intend that.
11. ALWAYS GIVE A REASON WHY IT'S A PROBLEM
When people know the reason behind critical
feedback, they will accept it better. But if all they
get told is they're doing it wrong, they'll eventually
check out (or lash out).
12. POINT TO CLEARLY COMMUNICATED STANDARDS.
When you're confronting someone, tie the
'offense' back to your team expectations,
guidelines, policies, or values. People are much
more willing to own up to a mistake or shortcoming
if they know it's an established rule or
standard. If you don't have clear standards or
expectations for personal practice and rehearsals,
a team member may feel your critical assessment
is an unfair or arbitrary complaint.
There's one critical factor that needs to be present
before using these tactics: Your team members
need to know you genuinely care for them and
love them.
If a team member thinks you value the quality of
music or the Sunday service over her, she won't
be a part of your team for very long. Remember,
"love…rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love
never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful,
and endures through every circumstance."
(1 Cor 13:6-7 NLT)
Jon Nicol
Jon’s the founder of WorshipWorkshop.com and
WorshipTeamCoach.com, two sites that help worship
leaders build strong teams and lead engaging
worship. He lives and serves in Lexington, Ohio with
his wife Shannon and their four kids.
WorshipWorkshop.com
WorshipTeamCoach.com
60 September 2020
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