YOUTH WORSHIP TEAM
PARALYZED BY PERFECTION | Vance & Michelle Shepherd
At a past worship event , one of our extremely good vocalists was distraught to the point of tears about not being able to hit a note exactly like she wanted to . I walked by the restroom after our sound check and run thru and could hear her crying . Her mom was trying to console and encourage her , but it wasn ’ t working . I knocked on the door , asked if I could come in , and I could see that she was distraught about it , beating herself up to the point that there was no joy in her singing and leading worship . Using her voice to worship God was actually turning into something negative , something humiliating and stressful to her , and she was not able to worship with the freedom she had experienced before .
you have chosen not to see your efforts in this way . Know that if you work hard at something , invest your heart and your passion and your mind , your outcome will be great .
If you make a mistake , be okay with it ! Mistakes aren ’ t the problem , being paralyzed into inaction is . Change how you react to mistakes . Don ’ t think of them as something to be avoided at all costs . Mistakes are opportunities for growth . You can ’ t truly be passionate about something unless you ’ re willing to risk getting something wrong . You don ’ t learn anything by standing back on the sidelines . You learn by falling down , getting back up , and then going a step further .
To see her so upset made me really upset , because I knew where her head was at , and I wanted to do whatever I could to get her to see it for what it really was . It ’ s something that every singer or musician must face down at some point . I had a serious heart talk with her and explained to her that what she was feeling was anxiety , stress and depression from trying to be “ perfect ”. It ’ s a sly tool that the enemy uses to render us ineffective in our worship . As vocalists and musicians , we go through so many emotions , continually battling the idea of perfection , of not being good enough . We can negatively spin out of control if we don ’ t have a healthy grasp of why we ’ re doing what we ’ re doing , and Who we ’ re doing it for .
I believe that trying to attain perfection is the enemy of excellence in worship , and here ’ s why : When we ’ re focused on being technically perfect , the focus turns inward , it ’ s on ourselves , and our own capability ( or lack of ). Perfectionism is a bottomless pit . Our brain says , “ I ’ m never good enough ”, or “ Everybody will see me as flawed if I don ’ t do this perfectly ”, or “ I only feel good about myself if I meet my own standard of perfection ”.
Perfectionists are always disappointed in themselves and can become paralyzed by fear .
1 Corinthians 10:31 says this : “ So whether you eat or drink , or whatever you do , do it all for the glory of God ”.
Striving for excellence demonstrates that you have a good work ethic , strength of character , and integrity in what you do . Perfectionism , on the other hand , sets standards that are so high they either can ’ t be attained , or only with great difficulty . Perfectionists tend to believe that anything short of perfection is horrible , that even minor imperfections lead to catastrophe . Over time , you might even start to believe that you ’ re not as capable as others , so you should just give up . And that ’ s why we must stay mindful of why we do what we do , and Who we do it for .
A few helpful things in this battle of the mind and heart :
Realize that perfectionism is the enemy of joy . When you feel the need to be perfect rise within you , take a moment . Remind yourself of why
Perfectionism isn ’ t part of your personality : perfectionism is just a way to cope for the unpredictable . It ’ s about control . You ’ re won ’ t change who you are as a person by renouncing perfectionism , you ’ ll just discover who you are without this false armor .
It was a very teachable moment for my student that night , as I reminded her of what she should be focusing on : the love and character of God , things of eternal value , things that cause the name of Jesus to be honored and worshiped , that cause people to recognize their sin , repent , and move closer to God . And this is what we get to do as worship leaders and musicians when we lift our voices and play our instruments , bringing glory and attention to God , making HIM famous . And that will always translate on Sunday !
May you be blessed as you continue to pour into or become the next generation of worship leaders and musicians !
Vance & Michelle Shepherd Founders of The Shepherd School of Music in Las Vegas , NV , where they work with youth to raise up the next generation of worship leaders and musicians . facebook . com / shepherdschoolofmusiclasvegas www . ShepherdStudiosLV . com