and Abraham are quite old . Sarah is asked why she laughed , but she denies having laughed because she is afraid . To her denial , the LORD replies , “ Oh yes , you did laugh .” And to Abraham , the LORD poses the question , “ Is anything too wonderful for the LORD ?”
Now , I don ’ t imagine God ’ s tone being like that of an angry child saying , “ Nuh-uh ! Yes you did !” It seems to me more like Jesus ( because God is like Jesus , as we talked about last month ), when he would repeat someone ’ s name and share an intimate moment with them . I imagine the LORD slowing things down . “ Sarah , hey … Sarah … You did laugh . And it ’ s okay . You ’ ll see .” I don ’ t know about you , but I tend to think God smiles a lot in these situations .
Sit with it , Sarah . Don ’ t pretend you feel something you don ’ t . God would rather you be honest than for you to fake and feign that you ’ re already living there . The story is happening in real time for you , so that you can fully embody each moment of it . So , go ahead and live in the present . God doesn ’ t need you to live in the future . Laugh , Sarah , and see the wonderful revealed .
The story reminds us of some things : 1 . God can handle your laughter . However long it takes . 2 . God is still at peace even in your impatience . 3 . God is looking for your transformation , not your conformity .
4 . God isn ’ t so insecure as to need you to pretend you ’ ve arrived when it ’ s not actually real for you yet .
So , sit in that laughter a bit . At least it ’ s the truth .
REACHING FOR THE REAL Without that truth , it ’ s impossible to experience the fullness of meaning God has in store . Like Sarah , we might try to skip to the end of a story without walking through the story first . But just knowing how a story ends is not what gives the story resonance . The resonance comes only when we experience each moment as it builds to that ending . Like Sarah , we want to mentally assent to , and present to God , the right answer - as though we ’ re taking a test . But God would rather we present our honesty , that it might one day bring us to awe .
It boils down to this : We still think our posture matters , while God looks on the heart . And God is never surprised .
The songs we write for the church to sing should not be anything like what Jesus warned the Pharisees about . The Pharisees were obsessed with that same posture and pretense . They were focused on cleaning the outside of a thing while the inside went untouched . And in our rush to sometimes present worship music that is tidy and simple , even “ marketable ” ( whatever that means ), we often refuse that which is real . Instead of the real , we ’ re maintaining appearances . Managing image .
Songwriters , make no mistake : Many in our congregations can see right through this . And those we wish would join our congregations , perhaps even more so . People draw near to sacred community because they are looking for life - for the authentic and genuine . The real .
Let ’ s make sure our songs ( and our attitudes when we play them ) are ready to meet people in that very real place .
THE GATEWAY If Jesus , being God , could absorb the doubt and opposition of the religious and political establishments that put him on the cross , in addition to the doubts and opposition of the mass of people there watching his crucifixion …
And if Jesus could absorb all of that from all of those people without being offended … In fact , he could do so while not proclaiming vengeance , but rather , forgiveness …
Then surely , the same Jesus would love to absorb whatever you ’ re holding back .
The same Jesus who is alive today , and who is the same yesterday , today and forever , has room for your questions . Your uncertainty . Your impatience and confusion and laughter … Because it ’ s probably the same room Jesus keeps for your wonder and awe .
The conversations you fear to start with God ? The feelings you ’ re hesitant to express ? The questions you ’ re reluctant to articulate ? Jesus can handle all of it . He can take it . Jesus doesn ’ t need you to be so overwhelmed with maintaining appearances , because he sees the truth at the core of us no matter what . Our songs can reflect this a bit more . They don ’ t have to bear the weight of every isolated idea we have that won ’ t apply to a gathered congregation , but they can certainly benefit from being a bit more personal , and more real . We ’ re writing songs for people who are just like us , after all .
Engaged with humility and vulnerability , even our doubts are a gateway to wonder . The laughter will have its day , and the resonance will come as we ’ re faithful to being present in the Story .
It is in the dark chasm of our confusion where we discover the dazzling light of awe .
It is in our authentic whimsy and laughter that we find a God who hears and is not offended .
It is in the expression of our own limitation that we make room for the transcendent .
It is in the embrace of our own ephemeral questions that we might catch a glimpse of the infinite .
And it is in the place of vulnerable , honest reflection - even doubt - where we ignite the spark of wonder .
Kevin MacDougall Worship leader , published and recorded songwriter , musician and podcast producer . macdougall . k @ gmail . com