of those two things is missing , then for me , then I ’ m not doing the thing I ’ m supposed to be doing .
[ Chris ] I was telling someone earlier that years ago I fully quit music . I wanted to be a missionary to Brazil . The food was so good and cheap ( laughing ). And anyways , in the middle of that , I felt like God said , “ Chris , I want you to make a record ”. But you know how God sounds like you ’ re talking to yourself ? ( laughing ) So I was like , “ God or me ?” And so I prayed . I said , “ God , if you give me the money , so I don ’ t go in debt , then I ’ ll make it ”. I just didn ’ t want to go in debt over a stupid me idea . And this guy emailed me and said , “ Hey , God told me to give you money ”. I still don ’ t know this guy . It ’ s real . He said , “ God told me to give you money . What do you need money for ?” And I was like , “ Guitar strings , drum heads ”. And at the end of the email , mostly to be funny , I said , “ Or if you give me $ 15,000 ( a number , I pulled out of nowhere ), just $ 15,000 , then I ’ ll make a record ”. And this guy mailed me a check with my name on it for 15 grand .
So I sit down in my office , I was like , “ Well , I guess I ’ ve got to write songs now God ”. I sit down and I ’ d always written songs , but I just thought they were dumb . I hated ‘ em . I wasn ’ t proud of ‘ em . I was ashamed to show ‘ em to anyone . But now God told me to make a record so surely he ’ s going to give me some awesome song . So I sit down , I mean , I ’ ve got multiple guitars , different shaped capos , and highlighters of every conceivable color . I had rhyming dictionaries and Thesauruses . I was ready to write and I laid it all out on my desk , I mean everywhere surrounded by guitars . And I sit there and I hold my hands out and I prayed this prayer , “ Lord , give me the songs of heaven .”
And now here ’ s what I wanted to happen , me to hear some melody that was heavenly outside of myself and that I would take that and give it to the rest of the world . And I felt the presence of God show up in the room stronger than I ’ ve ever felt God before or since . So much so that my heart was beating fast , nervous beating . I mean , part of it was like , “ Oh my God , I ’ m about to get a song of heaven ”. But the other half was like , “ Woe is me . I have unclean lips , you have no idea !”
And there I sat with my hands and my eyes squinched real tight and just praying , “ Lord , give me the songs of heaven ”. And I feel God show up . And it wasn ’ t audible , but whatever ’ s right below audible , he said , “ Chris , I already have the songs of heaven . What I want are the songs of Chris ”. And I just freaking wept . I just wept at my desk . I was like , well , my songs aren ’ t good . My songs are bad actually . And I pulled them out and I just laid ‘ em on the thing and I said , they ’ re bad , but these are my songs . And you can have ‘ em . You can have ‘ em . And in that stack of songs was a song called “ Your Love Never Fails ” that Jesus Culture had recorded because they heard it on the church MySpace ( and big thank you to my sound guy back then putting on the church MySpace ). And then they recorded it and then all of a sudden I ’ m in the music business . And yeah , still you were saying , well , how do you stay true to yourself ? I think half of my journey has been trying to figure out who I am , because since I heard that “ I want the songs of Chris ”, I started going , well , what are my songs ? What is the
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