GUITAR
YOU WIN OR YOU LEARN | James Duke
Several years ago I was playing at a three-day conference with multiple bands . I was particularly excited because one of the bands were really good friends of mine . I made a point of going to see their set . I even got there early so I wouldn ’ t miss anything . As I was making my way from the backstage area to my seat they kicked off their first song . It was a huge crowd , maybe forty-thousand , and they were super excited and loud . What a great was to start a show . Right around the time I got to my seat , the turnaround of the song came and it was time for the big guitar hook . The guitar player ( who is one of my best friends ) came in hot . His playing was super confident with great tone , the only problem was he was in the wrong key . A very wrong key . Maybe the worst possible key he could have been in . Upon hearing the one or two ( maybe four ) wrong notes , I said “ WOW !” really loud to my brother , who was there with me , as sort of a joke . We laughed for a second and that was it . We moved on , they finished the song , and the rest of the set was amazing .
As the set ended I made my way backstage to go give the band a bunch of high-fives and atta-boys . I went back there and it looked more like someone had died . They were hugging the guitar player and he was super bummed . I went up and asked what was going on . My friend said , “ I messed up . That was so embarrassing , especially because you were out there .”. For context , the song , and more specifically the guitar part he was playing , was a part that I had become synonymous with . So , I understand how he would be embarrassed to butcher it in front of me .
In all honesty , I had completely forgotten that it had even happened . I breezily replied “ Oh , the first song ? Who cares ? I mess that up all the time .”, and made my way to the green room to get snacks ( for those wondering , that ’ s all we are doing back stage . We are eating snacks and consoling each other after we mess up guitar parts ). When I came back , snacks in hand , my buddy was still really upset . So I gave some encouraging words to the effect of , “ Are you still talking about that ? It ’ s fine . Who cares . It was like three seconds ”. I know , really encouraging and inspiring . Super sensitive . Good job , James .
I understand that it ’ s easy for me ( the person that didn ’ t mess up in front of forty-thousand people ) to tell the person that did mess up not to worry about it . I would have been embarrassed too . However , since I was the one in the crowd and I am a musician , I was the one that could honestly say that I had forgotten about it , seconds after it happened , and so did everybody else in the crowd . It didn ’ t ruin the whole set . It just ruined one turnaround of a song . There ’ s a huge difference . So many times we allow a couple notes to dictate an hour of music . How many times have you said that a whole set sucked because you hit a couple bad notes ? Everybody else could have crushed it but you are only thinking of yourself . I ’ m guilty of that .
I ’ ve messed up thousands of times while on stage . It happens . It ’ s part of the job . It ’ s not always wrong notes . It could be poor execution , wrong pedal combinations , thinking you had your tuner on but you didn ’ t and you hit that high E string and it echo ’ s through the room in a quiet moment . I mess up in many different and creative ways . There have been many times where I couldn ’ t regain my composure and let it affect the rest of the set , maybe even multiple sets over and over again . Losing your confidence can paralyze you and It can prove difficult to rebound from it . A few songs still haunt me and I haven ’ t played them in years .
There ’ s an old saying , “ You win or you learn ”. I ’ ve always tried to learn from the really embarrassing stage blunders , even if it ’ s as simple as , “ Hey James , it ’ s the 12 th fret , not the 11 th fret ”. I still go home and cry to my wife sometimes , but the longer I ’ ve played music , the easier on myself I am . I still practice and I still want to be the best player in the room . I just don ’ t beat myself up if I ’ m not . There ’ s enough problems in the world , let ’ s not beat ourselves up over something that ’ s supposed to be fun .
If you struggle with confidence as a musician and find it hard to shake it off when something doesn ’ t exactly go as planned , just remember , “ You win or you learn ”.
James Duke James is a musician , songwriter , and producer from Jacksonville Beach , Florida . Most known for playing guitar alongside artists like John Mark McMillan , Matt Redman , Johnnyswim , and Steven Curtis Chapman , James also records his own music under the name All The Bright Lights . He currently lives in Nashville , Tennessee with his wife and 3 kids ..