Worship Musician February 2019 | Page 62

WORSHIP TEAM YOU WANT TO QUIT THE TEAM? | Jon Nicol ”Aedan is holding back tears every day when I pick him up from wrestling practice,” my wife • The Clash’s Should I Stay or Should I Go is on a single-song loop in your brain. told me. Fourth, if you think the answer might be somewhere in the middle—you’re not quitting, but you can’t keep going the way it is - take From the perspective and experience of a During football season, a coach encouraged worship pastor of almost twenty years, let me my seventh-grade son to go out for wrestling. guide you through this ‘quit-or-not’ process. He had never wrestled before but was eager a sabbatical. A true sabbatical from the team is not one or two weeks, or even one or two months. Step to continue knocking people over through First, you should consider quitting if your main out for an extended portion of the year. Create the winter. reason for staying is any one of these: a clear boundary with the worship leader. Don’t Your only outlet to make music. The worship even discuss returning until you’re at the end Aedan’s almost as tall as I am and weighs a ministry is just that—a ministry. We’re there to of your break. solid 205. (Yeah, big grocery bill.) Unfortunately, serve, not satisfy a musical need. that means in practice he has to wrestle eighth Other team members. They’re friends, and you Regardless, if your departure is temporary graders with way more experience and skill love serving with them. But camaraderie can’t or permanent, here is something you need than him. sustain you if the calling isn’t there. to know: the team and church will adapt Loyalty to the leader. Believe me, I’ve tried to play without you. My first reaction was, “We don’t quit until the this card to keep valued team members. But end of the season.” But then I thought about obligation turns to resentment when your sole I’ve lost some crazy-talented and well-liked him slogging through three months of daily motivator is a sense of duty. people. I would still love for them to be here, misery in a sport that he was just trying for the Your talent might be wasted. Musical skill doesn’t but God called them elsewhere. They moved first time. equal a call to the team. If you don’t feel called on, so did we. to serve, you are not ‘wasting' your talents. I got to thinking, “We all quit. Something. Don’t buy a ticket for that guilt trip. So, what happened with Aedan? I was proud of Sometime.” You’re not working your same Your identity. You’re known at church as ‘the him. He had a man-to-man conversation with sophomore-year job anymore, right? And that guitar guy’ or ‘that great singer’ or ‘the faithful his coach (a tough but critical life-lesson) and first college fling—where would your life be now tech.’ It’s time to find a deeper identity. agreed to wrestle in one tournament before he if you hadn’t quit that? made a final decision. Second, if you already feel you have the 'all- Quitting is occasionally fun (like leaving your clear' to exit, take these steps: He loved it. He now has motivation to endure minimum-wage, fast-food job), but it’s usually a Man/Woman-up. Have a grown-up, face-to-face the misery of practice, and he’s committed to mixed bag of regret, disappointment, guilt, and conversation with your worship leader. the rest of the season. If he goes out next year, desire for relief. Aedan was feeling all of that, Give notice. Finish out whatever commitments great. If not, he’ll have quit well. and I’ll tell you how it played out in a moment. you have, or offer to stay a reasonable amount of time. So, I hope I’ve helped you to determine if But let’s talk about you. Are you thinking about Be firm. Your leader might try to entice you to quitting is the right decision, and how to take quitting the worship team? There are some valid stay with a lighter schedule, a short break, or the right steps if it is. Now I get to go break the reasons to quit. If you’re considering it, you’re some other concession. Stick to your guns. news to my wife that she’ll be attending all-day probably experiencing at least one of these: Leave well. Even if they don’t treat you well. wrestling tournaments every Saturday for the • You feel like you’re just filling a spot. Third, if you’re just not sure, take these steps. next two months. • You dread going to rehearsal. • Pray and seek God’s guidance, and talk to • You’re burned out. • You’re in a new season of life, and you no longer have space or energy for it. • Your passion or calling has shifted to another ministry. 62 Let’s hope she doesn’t quit me. trusted people in your life. • Have a candid conversation with your leader. • Sleep on any decision you both arrive at. It might seem like a good plan at the moment, but give it at least 24 hours and some prayer. February 2019 Jon Nicol Jon’s the founder of WorshipWorkshop.com and WorshipTeamCoach.com, two sites that help worship leaders build strong teams and lead engaging worship. He lives and serves in Lexington, Ohio with his wife Shannon and their four kids. WorshipTeamCoach.com Subscribe for Free...