business clique
business clique
How do you cope , how do you keep working and how do you stem the incessant feelings of despair and personal guilt ? Marney Perna shares with us how a one-milliondollar financial disaster in her own life put all her tips and tools as a stress management expert to the ultimate test . This is her story .
Initially when faced with any sort of disaster , people generally go into disbelief , then shock , then grief and then finally resilience comes to the rescue , or not . A meltdown affects the whole person , and all of who they are . When a well known financial Institution collapsed , I was a fledgling business owner , a therapist , a wife , a mum and a carer for my elderly parents .
At first , I was totally dumbfounded , however I also knew that my business had to step up and contribute to the financial burdens we faced as a family . For that to happen I also had to do some self-care for myself , so that I was in a healthy position to be able to work . As a natural therapist , working one on one with my clients , I had to be in the right frame of mind and have positive energy to be of service .
Many of the strategies I learned as a natural therapist came to the fore . Often , I will say to clients ‘ oh , but you ' ve got to smile ’! And they ' re sitting there , and they ' re flattened and now I ' m telling them to smile and they would rather hit me because they don ' t want to smile . So again , I had to use the same tools that I was always giving to other people to lighten up my life as well . Much of that was through mirth , and not discounting the disaster , but being able to downplay it so that it wasn ' t totally impacting my life .
COMBATTING THE STRESS TRIGGER
1 .
Lighten the situation by downplaying the stress trigger . I came across a company that sold Australian ‘ milliondollar ’ notes . It was empowering to order 100 million dollars and it cost something like $ 19 . These $ 1M notes were used as an energy tool to uplift myself . I placed my million dollars all over the house , put one on the fridge , in my wallet and gave them out to people . I also would downplay the value of our debt ; by saying a million dollar debt is only one with lots of zeros . Well , zeros don ' t count !
2 .
Be mindful of language ! A stressful situation will have words that can also trigger an instant reaction . For me the words ‘ Storm Financial ’ are associated with a calamity , so I would not be comfortable going to another planner with a similar name . I have learned to be aware of what emotions a name brings up , and use that response as a further way of filtering my decision .
3 .
Smile without guilt ! Most people when faced with a disaster do not want to smile , or they feel that smiling
is somehow being disrespectful . However , smiling tells the body to release happy hormones called dopamine . These hormones raise the life energy . Overall , smiling gives the body a chance to pause and regroup .
4 .
Take action - step by step ! After the initial reactions , start the process of wondering how to achieve balance and harmony again . Thoughts and ideas will start to play in your head . Take the time to write down thoughts and ideas . Remember also that it is totally ok to reach out for help and guidance . Find a mentor who is willing to help you find confidence and self-belief agai .
Did we manage to survive ? Yes , we did . Our family pulled together and we were able to move forward and gradually regain our stability and lives again . My once fledgling business has just celebrated its 12th year and many times I have been thankful that I have been able to walk my talk
AUTHOR MARNEY PERNA www . Kinique . com
Women ’ s Network Magazine
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