But, two years ago when I was pregnant with my youngest, I struggled with low blood sugar and one morning I passed out.
I was in the bathroom when it happened. Apparently, I hit the corner of the sink and wall on the way down. My face was pretty beat up.
When I came to, I was disoriented.
I didn’t know where I was. All I felt was the cold tile on my face and the swelling pain in my body.
I hadn’t felt that way since….
I started to shake and scream and cry hysterically.
Zac rushed in, picked me up and frantically called the doctor.
While he was getting ice packs and talking to the nurse on the phone, I sat motionless on the couch. He kept trying to talk to me, but I couldn’t talk…
I was quiet for a long time.
Eventually, he took me to the hospital to have the baby checked out and make sure everything was okay.
I remained pretty quiet.
But, random tears continued to fall throughout the day…
I wish I could explain to you what I was feeling. I wish I could’ve explained it to Zac. The feelings that returned in that moment on the floor were hell – one that nearly shattered me so many years ago.
(And, please don’t email me and ask me who it was, how old I was, etc. I’ve forgiven them and I love them. I decided long ago that I would not damage their reputation or air their dirty laundry. So please don’t ask):)
BUT, I share this part of my life to lay the groundwork for this blog…
Over the years, God has brought many women into my life who have dealt with abuse. Many specifically who are married to men who are violent.
I hate this.
I hate that this happens.
I hate telling you that this happens in church.
In Christian families.
But it does.
One particular woman called me in hysterics after her husband violently attacked her children. But, I was her second phone call.
Her first call was to her pastor.
His recommendation was for them to come together for marriage counseling (with him) to focus on “restoration”. (All while her husband is going crazy beating her child in the background) No mention of safety. No mention to call the police.
Nothing.
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