Women Shining Magazine Women Shining Spring 2018 | Page 24

I know that if I talk to a man about sexual
violence I will probably not get through the
same way as a man speaking to another man
will. If another man says that it is unacceptable
behaviour - that is the way we are going to
shift this.
Right now we live in a violent culture - it is
socially acceptable to live in violence, which is
why we are desensitized. We are not focusing
on the men’s behaviour.
We are not telling men that if you are going
out tonight it is your responsibility no matter
what to not be violent, to not assault a women,
to not take advantage of women - we are not
having those conversations with our sons and
our boys.
We need education from the time children are
young - because from research by the time
most offenders are 17-18 they have had multiple
offences already.
So we need to start when they are young,
however, again there are no prevention and
education dollars out there. Very few of our
contracts allow for that, it is mostly reactionary.
Interviewer: How young are we talking?
Charlene: When we tell a little girl of 4-5 years
old that the little boy that pushed her over or
lifts up the girl’s skirt at school or playground
likes her, we are basically telling her that it is
ok to be abused - the little boy learns it is ok to
violate a woman.
When we tell little boys roughhousing - ‘boys
will be boys’ - we are saying it is ok to be
violent.
The behaviours need to be looked at from
the time we are young and we need to shift
the focus from responsibility on woman to
responsibility on men as well. Right now there
is no responsibility on men.
We are having the conversations with the girls
- issuing advice and warnings to females, you
need to be mindful, you need to be careful,
about what you wear, always be with a friend,
do not leave with someone. Right off the hub
we are targeting the wrong audience.
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Interviewer: I am sure our readers are grateful,
to know there are women like you dedicated to
helping women and working to make change.
Charlene: Thank goodness for a lot of women
and for the men who are also starting to hold
the torch as well. They are going to be the game
changers for the men’s side of this coin.