Women Shining Magazine Women Shining Spring 2018 | Page 23

Interviewer: Has the use of social media helped
you get your message out?
Charlene: We see snippets or tweets about
movements such as ‘Me Too’ and as they cross
our screen we think ‘So True’ and then on with
the next thing.
We live with the belief that this is normal. We are
taught that: I have to be careful, aware and be
on guard all my life because I was told it was my
responsibility to make sure this does not happen
to me. Women cannot travel by themselves, go
out at night, and constantly hear statement s
like, “you cannot dress like that!” Even the way
we style our hair - pony tails leave us vulnerable.
These are all safety things but the problem is still
there. Placing all the responsibility of the issue at
the feet of the ‘victim.’
The ideology that women must be hyper vigilant
and go above and beyond to ensure nothing
happens to them, and if they do not and get
raped or assaulted, it is our fault. Then we are
supposed to come and get counseling and get
better so not to get into again. If it happens
again, we are asked - “did you not learn
anything the first time?”
There is zero responsibility placed on the person
who is perpetrating violence. Which means this
issue still, whether we are talking about the
campaigns like ‘Me Too’ are still based in women.
Women have sole responsibility to deal with this
- well that needs to shift. If it doesn’t this issue
will never get better, it will never change.
One of the things I think that our sector as a
whole is starting to realize is that we don’t
change this issue with one side of the coin. In
other words, as long as this continues to be an
issue around women, for women, by women -
we don’t change.
The reality is that our sector has worked so
hard to ensure there are resources for women.
This is a gender based issue, however, we are
not going to change it until we get men to
the table. Until we have men as allies, and
until we actually start providing services, more
services to men who are offenders which is not
necessarily a popular stance by some. But the
reality is violence does not happen unless there
is an offender.
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