Women of Standard Nov 2013 | Page 14

Personal Development Personal Development Mental Escape WORKPLACE DYNAMICS Workplace Bullying BY: TEE WAY by: Tonya Dallas Here are some other helpful tips on office bullying: Pray – Matthew 5:44 and Luke 6:28 admonish us to pray for those who mistreat us. This should always be our first line of defense. Confront the person – Before going to HR, have a conversation with the person about their behavior and you would like it to stop. This will go on record that you tried to resolve the issue first. From Bad Bosses to Someone Has to Go, reality TV has directed our attention to the awful world of workplace bullying. Also known as counterproductive work behavior can be characterized by unprofessional communication, abuse, aggression, exclusion and sabotage to name a few. In some workplaces, intimidation and social undermining has become an intricate part of the organizational culture. Workplace bullying flourishes in a climate of inadequate management and is usually dismissed as harmless office politics. What was once thought of as unwanted childhood shenanigans, workplace bullying is quickly rising to the top of the list why people leave their jobs. In a 2008 Gallup poll, more than a million workers revealed that an “overbearing boss” was the No.1 reason employees quit their jobs. It has also been documented that women are bullied more than men. This antisocial behavior is also very costly to the company as well as to human capital. According to Bussinessweek. 14 W O M E N O F S T A N D A R D . O R G | ­ com, it would take a company twice your annual salary to replace you, due to its hiring and training processes. The consequences of workplace bullying have been known to cause physical and emotional damage to employees. Some victims have been known to suffer from anxiety, posttraumatic stress syndrome, depression and physical aliments associated with chronic stress like high blood pressure, migraines, stomach issues and heart disease. Since 2003, twenty-five states have introduced the Healthy Workplace Bill (HWB). This bill provides an avenue for legal compensation, allows you to sue the bully as an individual, holds employers accountable by compelling them to prevent and correct future instances. No laws have yet been enacted but this movement has brought workplace bullying to the forefront and this issue can no longer be ignored. For more information go to www.healthyworkplacebill.or g and www.workplacebullying.org. NOVEMBER 2013 Paper trail, paper trail, paper trail – Document each incident with dates, times and witnesses if possible. Keep all emails and other correspondence of harassment. File a complaint – Go through the proper chain of commands by reporting the incidents and filing a complaint. Start with your immediate supervisor and work your way up. Consult an attorney – After you have gone through all of the proper channels and if the company fails to give a remedy, the last resort would be to consult an attorney for legal advice. Dr. Gary Namie, National Director of the Healthy Workplace Campaign said, “Workplace bullying is like domestic abuse without the physical violence.” In the midst of strategic spiritual warfare from the enemy, let us continue to pray that the spirit of peace will prevail in our places of employment. Reference: http://www.businessweek.com/ articles/2013-08-01/office-bullies-pick-ontheir-unattractive-co-workers 4 RelationScripts Abundant Living BY: Tanya Angelique, MBA Who Are YOU? At each Christmas season, the movie Scrooge airs depicting the life of a man who was visited by three ghosts from his past, present and future. In each segment, he is shown experiences and gets a glimpse of how he presented himself through actions and words. He is also allowed to see how others would respond to his death. At the end, Scrooge experiences an “ah hah” moment of how others viewed him and the negative impact he had left as his legacy. What is your legacy? What has your life meant in its totality? Moreover, who do others say you are? Many tend to think they are a “great daughter, son, wife, husband, child, friend, or coworker, but often we fail in comparison. However, I am referring to things of more substance. Who others say you are is more than titles and things you participated in or how many special moments you’ve shared. Rather, it is the impression or imprint you made in the lives of others as you came in contact with them. Your answers should reveal the breadth and depth of who you are. It should paint a picture of your purpose and reason for living. People usually acquire their identities through the tasks they do and the objects they identify themselves with. Discovering who you really are is a process that one must complete in order to move in purpose. We each wear many hats in life but they are not the sum of our identity. An example of this would be Donna. She is a manager of a department store. Each morning she coaches her sales team towards the revenue goal and spends her day managing results. In the afternoon her colleagues see her as the witty one with funny moments to share; but when she goes home, she is wife and mother. But who is Donna really? None of those roles outline her true identity or purpose for existence. Those roles are only pieces of the whole. Like Donna, only you can truly peel back the layers and remove the mask to reveal your true self. I propose that you be bold enough to first confront yourself by asking, “What would I desire of my life if there were no limits to what I could have or become?” Then get with those whom you respect and ask them to tell you what they see when they see you. Be willing to accept constructive feedback and open to address areas of opportunity. Being strong enough to face your own reflection is a sign of maturity and is well needed if you are to live a fulfilled, purposeful life. It has been a hectic week for me. Honestly, I had a hectic summer. My youngest son was dealing with a health issue. My 25-year-old daughter and two grandchildren moved in with us. My husband became president of the youth football team, and this was my first summer being without my eldest daughter who married last fall. Adding insult to injury, our dog repeatedly kept frolicking through the woods and not only got skunked, but managed to be the only dog to look like “Hitch” because she came in contact with poison ivy! At this juncture, my mind, body, and soul screamed, “HELP!” Typically, I run on full throttle. I am part of several community groups and organizations and active in church and ministry. I’m the mom at all of the practices and games, and did I mention the PTA? I function at my best when I am busy, but even the busiest body gets emotionally fatigued. Mental fatigue is far worse than physical tiredness. Physical fatigue can be overcome by rest and sleep. Mental fatigue is an ugly monster that debilitates your entire being. During my time of exhaustion, I found myself becoming short with those around me. Physically, I was lethargic and I had no desire to do much of anything. I started to forget things and, needless to say, everything and everyone annoyed me. Researchers suggest that exercise, vitamins, or even fresh air can help with fatigue. While all of these are good suggestions, I need more. I need a quiet place to regroup, recoup and relax. I was invited to Attica, Michigan for a girls’ weekend getaway. I immediately accepted, only to later contemplate changing my mind. After many internal debates, I knew it was what I needed to get back into the zone. The spacious cottage sat right off of Lake Superior and was absolutely beautiful. Fresh air, blue calming waters, sunrises, sunsets, birds chirping, frogs croaking, and an occasional fish jumping up out of the water, seemingly playing peek-a-boo was a welcomed atmosphere. Yes, there were 12 other women there who all needed a mental escape for reasons different from mine, but we all needed one. Every so often, it felt as if I was the only one there. At other times, the conversations, the laughs, and even the quietness were just what we all so desperately needed. The result of my mental escape was refreshing. Before attending the lake, I felt like a plant that hadn’t been watered in weeks, dry and wilting. The human spirit can endure a lot, but we rob God when we give him a halfhearted, lethargic, downtrodden praise. Whatever it is that helps you regain your mental and spiritual focus, it’s time to go for it. Regain your strength, your stamina , and your motivation, so you can get back to one of the things you do best, which is serving others. NOVEMBER 2013 | W O M E N O F S T A N D A R D . O R G 15