about arranging for night care for my mom during the
balance of her stay. We didn’t have to worry about her
being alone, waking up and being afraid or concerned.
We could get our own much needed rest, comforted
by the fact that Mom had a qualified caregiver with
her all night, while we were there to support her in
the daytime. After a week, we went home with our
caregiver in tow.
It was like an epiphany. Dad was relieved to not have
the worry that what if he was busy doing something
and Mom needed him. He could get up early, as he has
always enjoyed doing, and start his day, comforted by
the fact that he had a watchful angel with Mom. What
my dad discovered after bringing a caregiver into the
home was that he had the time and energy to do the
little things. We were amazed that Dad’s basic lunch of
ground beef and macaroni and cheese had expanded to
roast pork tenderloin, shrimp bisque and other recipes
he scoured off the internet.
He would brag about a new recipe he’d found. Dad
realized his joy of cooking was because he was
preparing meals for my mom. He could run out and
buy Mom flowers and a card. They could watch sports
or movies or listen to Elvis, lots of Elvis. They could
relax outside or in the kitchen and watch the birds on
the feeders at the kitchen window. Dad could get Mom
settled with a blanket in front of the fire and just be
together. Trying to be everything was taking away from
my Dad’s ability just to be there. He rediscovered being
my mom’s soul mate. It was a beautiful thing to watch.
We had our live-in caregiver for about 2 months when
Mom passed away. I can’t describe the devastation
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we felt but I am so grateful that through this journey,
we were able to come to a meeting of the minds and
agree to a caregiver in our home. The time that Mom
and Dad had in those last two months was a gift to be
treasured and one that we would not have had.
I started my story about my mom and the support I
thought would be beneficial for her but I end my story
with the reality that my dad, who received the support
and the incredible gift of freedom to be whom he really
wanted to be, my mother’s sweetheart.
I am so grateful to have the opportunity to support
seniors, providing them with the care they deserve. My
company, Focus on Caring, has been doing that since
its inception in 1994. We complete an RN assessment,
determine care needs and develop a care plan, select
the caregivers that are a match to the clients and their
needs and deliver our best ensuring that the delivery of
care is exactly what they need. We have opportunities
along the way to assist families with the decisions and
overcoming the objections of the “I can handle it” or
“I’m not sure I’d be comfortable with someone in my
home” or “We don’t need anything yet.” In the end,
they too get to discover the gift that enriches their lives.