any problems that might crop up. The
frequency of chats can vary depending
on age and maturity level. Choose the
routine that best supports your child’s
success. And then cut them some slack
as they take on more responsibility. En-
courage kids to talk to teachers at the
first sign of an academic problem, in-
stead of waiting for things to get worse.
Asking for help from older adults is an
important life skill, and self-advocacy is
usually rewarded.
Keep social commitments in
balance. We all know kids who keep
their social calendars booked, rarely tak-
ing any down time. Try to remember that
self-care is taught rather than innate, and
don’t allow your child’s hyper-social
friends to make them feel like they are
constantly missing out. Be especially
mindful if your child has friends who
don’t have enough parental guidance.
For some kids, having a few close
friends and hanging out one-on-one may
be better than being part of an extended
group that thrives on social drama. Make
sure your child knows what “me time”
means from a young age onward by set-
ting a good example and helping priori-
tize self-care.
Be
alert
for
bullying.
Sometimes aggression between children
is so subtle that parents don’t pick up on
it. Furthermore kids who are being bul-
lied may not realize it or, if they do, they
may be ashamed to confide in parents or
other adults. When your kids are young-
er, volunteer at school once in a while
and check out the social dynamics. Even
children who have known each other for
years can suddenly turn on each other,
especially if they sense popularity is at
stake. With tweens and teens, make sure
to regulate screen time, social media
use, and check devices regularly. Make
sure you train kids in empathy and asser-
tiveness and reinforce those lessons, es-
pecially during the tween and teen years.
Watch for red flags. If your
child has an appropriate schedule but is
still showing signs of being disengaged
or not wanting to get out of bed in the
morning, get some help. As parents, we
may not have all of the resources our
children need at our fingertips, and there
is no shame in this. If your child is suf-
fering from depression or anxiety, talk to
a health care professional. Your general
practitioner or family physician can ask
the right questions and discuss treatment
options to get your child back on track.
Childhood anxiety and depression are
on the rise, especially during the ages
when kids leave home to attend college.
Make sure your child is ready for that
transition by instilling a positive attitude
and encouraging slow and steady mo-
mentum that will pay off during the first
twelve years of school and beyond.
Journalist Christina Katz has given her
fair share of pep talks and lent plenty of
shoulders to cry on. Parenting has taught
her that life is Wabi-Sabi* and isn’t likely
to become perfect any time soon.
* the Japanese view that life and art are
beautiful not because they are perfect
and eternal, but because they are imper-
fect and fleeting.
September 2019 WNY Family 9