A
Perfect
Bond
The Benefits of Reciprocal Relationships
Between Teens and the Elderly
R
detailed accounts of
elation-
TWEENS & TEENS
what it was like to
ships
experience air raid
with a
— by Myrna Beth Haskell
drills during WWII
large generational
or Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “March
gap can be extremely beneficial in ways
on Washington” during the civil rights
that often surprise both the younger
movement, and these personal stories
person and the older adult. Teens and
are much more interesting to a teen than
elderly companions form lasting bonds
just reading about these moments in
that enrich their lives in ways that other
time from a textbook.
relationships — with peers, children or
parents — cannot.
Teens who develop relationships
Sandra Edmonds Crewe, Ph.D.,
dean of the School of Social Work at
Howard University, comments, “Of-
tentimes, teens and elders identify with
each other because both are striving for
independence — teens from their par-
ents and older persons from their adult
children who they sometimes find to be
overprotective.”
“The learning and the companion-
ship of being with each other, as a sur-
rogate family member, a trusted friend
or safe person, can lend to life-changing
attitudes about the other generation,” ex-
plains Robert Cosby, Ph.D., director of
the Multidisciplinary Gerontology Cen-
ter at Howard University.
Benefits for Teens
An obvious benefit for teens is the
ability to learn about history from a per-
son who has actually lived through it. An
elderly person might share colorful and
66 WNY Family December 2018
with an elderly person also “gain inde-
pendence, confidence and social skills,”
says Michael Bobrowski, LCSW, direc-
tor of social work at United Hebrew of
New Rochelle, an eldercare campus and
nursing home in Westchester County,
NY. Another significant benefit for teens
is the “knowledge and wisdom teens
gain – whether the elder person is a rela-
tive, neighbor or family friend,” adds
Bobrowski.
In addition, teens develop empa-
thy. “They develop an awareness of the
changes seniors experience as they get
older. They see how an elderly person’s
physical health or cognitive ability de-
clines, and they observe how the elderly
person adapts to those changes. As the
relationship develops, younger people
gain a sense of satisfaction from helping
the older person who becomes more frail
or forgetful.
The experience may give teens a
pause to think about their future. They
may see themselves as healthy, strong,
and invincible. It’s a life lesson because
they may consider how they can take
care of themselves now to better face
their futures as an older person,” Bo-
browski points out.
Benefits for the Elderly
An elderly person who spends time
with a teen can experience improved
cognitive stimulation, an increase in en-
ergy and a reduction in a feeling of iso-
lation.
“By sharing their life’s experiences,
they have the opportunity to impart wis-
dom. The elderly person feels satisfied
because they have something to offer
to the teenager: they can be a teacher,
a mentor, a motivator and a role model.
They develop a sense of purpose and
emotional satisfaction from the relation-
ship,” Bobrowski reports.
Dr. Cosby states, “The research
indicates that life satisfaction may im-
prove as social isolation diminishes for
the older adult.” He explains that older
adults are often successful serving as
mentors and display increased engage-
ment and understanding of teens.
“Teens often disregard age more so
than middle-aged persons. They are not
as biased about the abilities of older per-
sons and jump right in to assist with the
learning of technology and other activi-
ties that are stimulating, such as music
and art. Thus, the older person is en-
gaged in continuous learning just by be-
ing in the presence of teens,” Dr. Crewe
explains.
Dr. Cosby also mentions that there
may be biological benefits for the older
adult. “Activity in the brain may trigger
the release of chemicals that increase
feelings of well-being.”
The Benefits of
Volunteering for the Elderly
Teens can find jobs volunteering
in eldercare facilities and rehabilitation
centers, and these positions teach life
skills.
“Duties that a teen may consider
when volunteering may include reading,
singing, walking with older adult at a
leisurely pace that allows for conversa-