DEAR TEACHER
– by Peggy Gisler and Marge Eberts
Helping all parents make their
children’s educational experience
as successful as possible
A Resolution to Help
Children Do Better
in School
P
arents: The new year is fast
approaching — the time when
we feel obliged to make reso-
lutions to improve our lives in some way.
So often individuals make the same reso-
lutions and abandon them within a few
weeks. This year we have a new sugges-
tion: Resolve to be grateful. This resolu-
tion will make you happier, and everyone
in your family will be happier, too. Encour-
age your children to make the same resolu-
tion. It has been found that children who
are grateful do better in school, so there is
a big plus for them in making this resolu-
tion. Here are a few ways that everyone in
your family can implement this resolution:
• Resolve to savor the good times
that you have with your family.
• Resolve to focus each day on one
thing that you can be grateful for.
Parents can be grateful for how
well their children are doing in
school, and children can be grate-
ful when their studying results in a
good grade on a test. Both can be
grateful for such things as good
friends, a beautiful sunset, and
warm weather.
• Resolve to be grateful for the peo-
ple who have helped you. Thank
them or write notes to express your
gratitude.
54 WNY Family December 2018
Resolving A Difficult
Relationship Between
Student & Teacher
Question: My middle-schooler
comes close to hating one of his teachers.
And I don’t think that the teacher is too
fond of him. What should be done to im-
prove this situation? — Love Lost
Answer: When a student is extreme-
ly unhappy with a teacher, it can make
for a miserable year. To improve the situ-
ation, you need to have a dialogue with
your child, first of all. You will want to
listen and not jump to conclusions, as
you are hearing only his side of the story.
Remember also that your child and the
teacher might not see the situation in the
same way.
When you talk to your child, see
if there are specific instances that have
caused him or her to dislike his teacher.
Ask what he and the teacher could have
done differently. You do need to point
out that not all teachers will jibe with his
learning style or personality, and he needs
to learn how to deal with all different
kinds of people. Ask your son also what
he might do to improve the situation, like
showing interest in class. Do try to nar-
row down if this problem is because he is
not doing as well as he wants in this class
or if it is more of a personality misfit.
When you talk to the teacher, be re-
spectful. See if she thinks that a problem
exists and how it might be improved.
Relate this information to your child and
help him develop a plan to improve the
relationship. Or you might think it appro-
priate for your child to attend this meet-
ing so a solution to the problem can be
worked out at once between the teacher
and your child.
Teachers Describe What
A Good Student Is
Question: My neighbors and I were
discussing what makes a good student.
What do you think? — Unknown Qualities
Answer: Research shows that
teachers place more emphasis on per-
sonal characteristics than academic
skills. Most want to see students who are
motivated, curious, self-disciplined, re-
spectful toward teachers, and persistent.
They also consider children good stu-
dents if they are willing to ask questions.
Other qualities that teachers appreciate
are being trustworthy, problem solvers,
hard workers, and honest.
The Types of Rewards
that Work
Question: What are some rewards
that may inspire my children to do
homework and household chores? Will
rewards work? – Puzzled
Answer: The purpose of giving
rewards to a child is to get a task done.
The end result you are seeking is for
your child to move from receiving an
extrinsic reward to realizing the intrin-
sic reward of valuing a task for the sat-
isfaction of completing it. For example,
getting their homework done well and
turned in on time can produce…?
Rewards tend to work when a re-
ward is something that is important to
children. Parents need to think about
what will entice their children to work
for a reward. It can be helpful for parents
and children to decide what an award
will be for the successful completion
of a task. For some children, a reward
chart can work. Children can earn stars
or tokens for completing certain tasks.
When they have a certain number of
stars or tokens, they can receive a prede-
termined reward. Other popular rewards
are money, the promise of a fun activity,
and media time.
Caution: Choose rewards for only
a few tasks that need to be improved.
And be sure to lavish praise when chil-
dren complete tasks.
Parents should send questions and com-
ments to [email protected]
or to the Dear Teacher website.