Communicating With
Teachers And Coaches
You know how to do this, but now
it’s time to let your child step up and
converse with authority figures. You can
encourage her, confirm it’s happening,
and even follow up with adults to make
sure your child isn’t blowing you smoke.
But let her do it or she won’t learn how.
Confronting Bullies
Not avoiding bullies. Not hiding
from bullies. Not doing whatever bul-
lies want so they won’t pick on you.
Confronting bullies means being able to
stand up to someone being mean to your
child whether his friends will back him
up or not. Let your kids know you ex-
pect them to stand up for themselves and
for others in need assistance and watch
them do it.
Becoming A Positive
Contributor
Everyone hates substitutes. No one
likes the new math teacher. That kid
is so weird. But guess what, kiddo? It
doesn’t matter because you are expected
to be kind and respectful to everyone at
your school, including teachers and sub-
stitutes. Furthermore, you will actively
contribute in your classes and make pos-
itive contributions to your school on an
ongoing basis. Got it?
Bouncing Back
From Failure And
Disappointments
Perhaps the toughest days in middle
school are the not-making-the-cut days
or the performing poorly on the test days
or the getting sent to the principal
days. How you respond to some
twist on this rope is important.
Kids need to process their feel-
ings before they can bounce back
and do the right thing. Be calm
and patient as you help them fig-
ure it all out.
Test-driving
Romantic
Relationships
Some kids will dive right
into relationships in middle
school. Others will stay on the
sidelines so they can spectate and
speculate. Others may not seem
interested at all. This is the be-
ginning of practicing intimacy,
What If Your Child Has A Wake-up Call?
If your child has a wake up call, try your best to stay calm. Never
focus on what others will think. In fact, you may want to detach yourself
from well-meaning friends for a time, as you address your child’s
needs. A wake-up call is often a cry for help. Is your child getting as
much attention and support as she needs?
Sometimes a wake-up call is a by-product of the company your
child keeps. Is your child getting mixed up with kids who thrive on
acting out? If your child is in trouble at school, don’t make school
professionals into enemies. Work with them to make sure your child
has all the academic and creative outlets he needs. Kids who get in
trouble at this age are often bored, under-supervised, and craving
outlets. Keeping kids engaged, challenged, and in healthy routines
can ensure kids stay safe and productive throughout the middle
school years.
so be sure to have lots of conversations
with your child about the differences be-
tween healthy and unhealthy romantic
relationships.
Prioritizing Needs
Kids have needs and those needs
matter even when life is hectic. Maybe
your daughter needs a jog bra for gym
class. Maybe she needs a new notebook
for algebra. Maybe she needs you to
sign a field trip form and write a check.
Have a regular plan-the-week meeting
on the weekend to discuss what your
child is going to need from you and
avoid last-minute crunches that create
needless stress and bickering.
Learning About
The World
There is a whole wide world out
there, and now your child is old enough
to start learning about all of its complex-
ities. What a great time to teach your
child about respecting diversity, tolerat-
ing differences, and envisioning a more
peaceful world. They can practice all of
these principles right in middle school.
Remembering To Rest
Taking nice long baths with soft
music and candles. Pulling the black-out
curtains for a three-hour afternoon nap.
A six-episode, BBC Pride And Preju-
dice binge-watching sessions to recover
from the sniffles. Growing kids need to
unwind sometimes, but they may have
trouble recognizing this. When this hap-
pens, give them a nudge in a decom-
pressing direction.
Shining Despite
Speedbumps
Guess what, parents? Your kid is
going to stumble, fall, and maybe
even face-plant in middle school.
But he will still have plenty of
shining moments, where he is
ecstatic and in his element. If
your child isn’t having enough
moments like these, call a family
meeting, put your heads together,
and look for new opportunities
where he is more likely to suc-
ceed.
Author, journalist, and writing
coach Christina Katz is actually
a bit sad that the middle school
adventures are over. But she’s
looking forward to the challeng-
es that high school will bring.
December 2018 WNY Family 39