OUR FIRST CHRISTMAS WITHOUT THOMAS
This will be Emma and Dan Garner’s first Christmas without their son,
Thomas. Here they tell their heart-breaking story and explain how you
can help families going through the worst of times.
Thomas died in April this year, and this is his story. He was born in October
2017 with an exceptionally rare congenital heart defect that was detected
on scans during pregnancy. He spent the whole of his short life in hospital,
and when parents Emma and Dan learnt that living on a hospital ward
wasn’t easy, Claire House stepped in.
Mum Emma said; "While Thomas was critically ill in intensive care, support
from the team at Claire House meant that we were able to bond with him
and make much-cherished lasting memories. But their involvement didn’t
end when he died."
Emma knew all about the support that the Hospice provides for children
once they have passed away, and in the days surrounding Thomas’s death
she remembered, and gave them a call. Within hours, their request was
accepted, and they were on their way to the Hospice through the Mersey
Tunnel. Once they arrived, they were greeted by Shelagh, from Claire
House’s expert bereavement team.
"In the days after Thomas’s death both Dan and I had no clue what was
going on, what to expect or even what to think. We were completely lost.
But Shelagh took complete control. She took us into the suite that we would
be staying in and she greeted Thomas just as if he was still alive. She talked
to him, cared for him and took him to his bedroom that had been set up
just like the nursery that he should have had at home. She made us both
a brew and sat with us. And the rest of the day was a bit of a blur. But
that evening, she made it so we could bath Thomas for the first ever time.
We washed him, washed his hair and dressed him in a baby grow that I’d
wanted him to wear ever since he received it at Christmas. It was beautiful.
But it was bittersweet."
Shelagh and the team were there to support Emma and Dan with everything
– from registering Thomas’s death to planning the funeral. Things no
parent should ever have to think about for their child. Luckily, Thomas and
his family were able to stay at Claire House until his funeral, but for many
families this just isn’t the case.
Shelagh said: “I remember Thomas and his family well – they went through
so much in Thomas’s short life, but it means so much to me and the team
that we were able to be there for them. And we will continue to be there –
especially as this will be Emma, Dan and Henry’s first Christmas without
Thomas.”
Almost six months after Thomas’s death, Claire House is still a large part
of Emma and Dan’s lives: “If we can raise awareness of the incredible work
and facilities that they offer, this will mean more people are aware of what
actually goes on there. So I ask you to please donate this Christmas. Let
people know that this amazing place exists and what it does. We will never
be able to thank them enough for all they have done, and continue to do
for our family.”
Up to capacity
In the last five years, Claire House has seen a 132% increase in the number
of bereaved families it cares for. As the number of families needing the
Hospice’s support rises, the availability of the bereavement suite Thomas
stayed in decreases. If every family are to have the experience that Emma,
Dan and their older son Henry had when Thomas died, the Hospice needs
to urgently raise funds to keep this vital service going. On average a family
will use our bereavement suite for up to seven days, £102.93 will pay for a
whole day, £51.47 for half a day and £25.45 for two hours – long enough
to be welcomed by Shelagh with a brew. The generosity of people on the
Wirral this Christmas will mean that Claire House can continue to be there
for other families in their darkest times for years to come.
What does Claire House do?
Claire House Children’s Hospice helps seriously and terminally ill children
live life to the full by creating wonderful experiences and bringing back
a sense of normality to family life. By providing specialist nursing care
and emotional support Claire House helps families smile again when life
couldn’t get any tougher. Christmas is a magical time at Claire House, with
visits from Santa, reindeers and Christmas parties. The team at the hospice
work hard to make Christmas as special as they possibly can, as they know
that for some families this could be their last together.
Claire House’s appeal to reach every dying child
As well as providing respite and emergency care for families, Claire House
looks after children at the end of life. When a child is dying, their family
gets one chance to get their care absolutely right. Whether they have
days, hours or weeks to live, everything must be perfect. Anything less is
unthinkable. Over the past six years the Hospice has seen an 84% rise in the
demand for its services. This is not because more children in our area are
dying, but because the services the Hospice offers are getting better known.
Also as medical care improves, children are surviving longer, but many
have complex healthcare needs that require the specialist care that places
such as Claire House provide. The problem is that the Hospice is currently
struggling to meet the demand. It needs to build a new children’s hospice in
Liverpool, increase the care it offers families in their homes and help more
children at its hospice on the Wirral.
To find out more about how you can help visit www.clairehouse.org.uk,
or call 0151 343 0883.
wirrallife.com 15