Wiregrass Seniors Magazine September 2018 SEPTEMBER ISSUE(1) | Page 11

WiregrassSeniorsMagazine.com
Page 11
ESTROGEN ISSUES? 10 WAYS TO KNOW
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese
omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your
jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing with every
thing you say and that makes you want to run
him over with the lawnmower.
5. You're using your cell phone to dial up every
vehicle you see with a sticker that says:
"How's my driving-call ?".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to
batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from
"outer space."
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive
you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought
it yesterday.
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in
different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip that includes bathroom stops.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream,
off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. Men really are a lower form of species.
1. Other Women
Question?
I am the center of gravity, hold a
capital position in Vienna, and as I
am foremost in every victory, I am
allowed by all to be invaluable.
Though I am invisible, I can be
clearly seen in the midst of a river. I
could name three who are in love
with me yet I have three associates
in vice. It is vain that you seek me for
I have long been in heaven yet even
now lie embalmed in the grave.
W ha
hat t am I?
Ethel and Earl
Ethel and Earl are sitting on a park bench
arguing about which one has the worst memory.
After a while Ethel challenges Earl to walk
over to Dairy Queen and get her a hot fudge
sundae with whipped cream and peanuts on top.
She tells him to write it down because he will
forget what he was going for by the time he
gets there.
He says "I won't forget. You want a hot fudge
sundae with whipped cream and peanuts on
top". He leaves and is gone for a long time.
When he finally returns he hands her a bag
with a cheeseburger and fries inside.
She looks in the bag and says "I knew it, I
knew it. I told you to write it down".
He says "Well, I got you a cheeseburger,
fries, and a vanilla shake; just like you like".
Ethel says "Yes, but you forgot
the pickles"!
The letter V