Wiregrass Seniors Magazine November 2016 November 2016 | Page 14

Page 14

WiregrassSeniorsMagazine.com

Thanksgiving

Turkey Competition
A Minnesota man basted a 72-pound turkey
to defeat his sister in their annual sibling rivalry over
who can prepare the biggest Thanksgiving bird.
Rich Portnoy roasted his enormous turkey in
his 36-inch-wide, chef-calibre oven on Thanksgiving
Day to top the biggest bird his sister had ever cooked
by 25 pounds.
Big turkeys are a tradition in the Portnoy family. Rich Portnoy said his father cooked birds of 30
pounds or more years ago.
Last year, Andra Portnoy cooked a 47pounder to take the lead after her brother could only
find a 37-pounder, even though he lives in the nation's
top turkey-producing state.
This year, Rich Portnoy approached the Minnesota Turkey Growers Association, which helped
him find an 85-pound breeding tom that, at 59 weeks
old, was near the end of its useful life.
He bought the turkey for $30, loaded the live
bird into the back of the family's car and drove it to a
processor, where it was made oven-ready at 72
pounds.
Portnoy and his wife, Charlene, invited 26
people to Thursday's feast. They weren't sure the big
old tom would be edible, so Portnoy also cooked a
19-pound 'backup turkey' on the backyard grill.

Ethel and Earl

While attending a marriage seminar on
communication, Earl and his wife Ethel
listened to the instructor declare, "It is
essential that husbands and wives know
the things that are important to each
other."
He addressed the men,
"Can you describe your
wife's favorite flower?"
Earl leaned over,
touched his wife's arm gently and proudly
whispered, Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"