Wiregrass Seniors Magazine May 2018 MAY ISSUE | Page 22

Page 22
WiregrassSeniorsMagazine.com
Ethel and Earl
During the church service, the pastor asked
if anyone in the congregation would like to
express thanks for any prayers which had
been answered.
Ethel stood up and came forward.
She began, "As many of you know, two months
ago my husband, Earl, had a terrible
tractor accident and his scrotum was
completely crushed. The pain was
excruciating and the doctors didn't know if
he would ever completely heal."
You could hear an audible gasp from the men
in the congregation as they imagined the pain
that poor Earl experienced.
Ethel continued, "Earl was unable to hold me
or the grandkids and every move caused him
terrible pain. We prayed as the
doctors performed a delicate operation. They
were able to piece together the crushed
remnants of Earl's scrotum and with the help
of titanium screws and wires, they were able
to get his scrotum to hold together."
Again, the men in the Congregation squirmed
uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible
surgery performed on Earl.
She continued, "Now Earl is out of the
hospital, the doctors say- that with a little
time and a lot of prayers,
Earl, should recover completely."
All the men sighed with relief.
The pastor rose and squeamishly asked if
anyone else had anything to say.
At that, Earl got up and slowly walked to the
podium and announced to the congregation.
"Hi, I'm Earl, and I would like to tell my
wife, for the last time,
the word is
'sternum!' "