Jeri Goswick
The Power of Shared Reading
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We realized a positive connection to her past was cooking. She had cooked with her grandmother as a child. It was a source of comfort for her to cook some of her favorite foods. Wearing matching handmade aprons from my grandmother, she would share stories of her childhood and I would share mine. It was a valuable time of healing and bonding for us. However, reading recipes was challenging. There were more times than once that ¼ teaspoon was read as ¼ cup, which made for some interesting results. But, the more we read recipes and cooked together, the more her confidence grew. She became more independent and her face would beam with delight as the family devoured her creations.
Shared Reading Builds Trust
Children in foster care struggle to trust. Naturally, we build trust with our biological children from the moment of birth; however, with foster and/or adoptive children, trust does not come immediately; it has to be earned (Chapman, 2016). The patterns of uncertainty in a foster child’s life often creates an inconsistent ability to make connections and build trust (Schooler, Smalley, and Callahan, 2009).
One particular issue related to our foster daughter’s own personal history was trusting others to care for or be around her daughter. Anytime her daughter ventured out of her sight or we had to leave her daughter at home with my husband, her fear and anxiety would overwhelm her. After struggling with this for a while, our family counselor recommended finding a book that she could read with her daughter regarding physical safety. We settled on a wonderful little book titled, My Body Belongs to Me from My Head to My Toes by Dagmar Geisler (2014). This book offered our family a way of addressing a sensitive, yet important topic. As a family, we all took turns reading the book to her daughter. This simple act, along with other safeguards, has helped her to build trust and feel more secure in our home.
Children in care often arrive in a home with preconceived ideas on a host of issues that may or may not be true. Oftentimes, we have to retrain a heart or mind to see the world in a different way. The authors of Disruptive Thinking: Why How We Read Matters (2017) share that we read to change; sometimes in miniscule ways, other times in a dramatic way. Being able to sit down with children and read a book, letter, or even a social media post and have authentic discussions is powerful. These moments help us all to look at the world in a different way and to reflect upon our own thinking and beliefs, often changing our heart or mind and accepting a different point of view.
Nothing blesses my heart more than to hear a child being read to. This simple shared activity fosters a sense of connection and well-being for both the reader and the one being read to. As expected in our home, princess stories are at the top of the list. These stories of overcoming a fairytale tragedy leave us “feeling hopeful that if faced with the same situation, we too would prevail” (Bryant & Wadlow p. 20).
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