Winter Garden Magazine February 2016 - Justin & Holli Trisler | Page 42

when the charge was particularly big — I come to my senses once again and things are back in perspective. After this, I am again able to see my partner for who he really is: a good man, who occasionally runs late but really has the best of intentions with me. After this kind of release, during which I will often say all sorts of things I don’t really mean, I am able to see my own needs clearly and can communicate clearly and calmly to my partner. I have discharged consciously. My girlfriend knows, that I didn’t really mean everything I said, but just had to get it out of my system. Maybe my partner would have also known, yet for him it would be much harder to not take it personally if I say things, that are really not fair. Beware of Toxic Waste  A lack of awareness in how we deal with emotional charges can be extremely dangerous for our relationships and many couples i nadvertently jeopardize their relationship by failing to distinguish feelings and emotions. It is natural for those closest to us to trigger our biggest emotional charges. That’s why it’s important to deal with them consciously. A failure to do so most likely results in mutual emotional activations. Sooner or  later, the whole field of our relationship is poisoned or mined even, turning even the most seemingly harmless conversations into veritable minefields. Left unchecked, the final stop in this journey is a painful breakup, often leaving both partners bewildered as to what really happened. In many cases, people still notice it years later when they happen to come in contact with an ex where emotional charges played an unhealthy role. Even the smallest contact can trigger strong emotional waves, demanding an opportunity to discharge. To each his own. Regardless of whether i \