HO
HO
HOl
ding
It
Toge
ther
Audrey Costa
’m one of those weirdos who wish I could walk into
people’s homes during the holidays and see how
much better they might be living than me. I want
to see their perfect kids pristinely dressed in red and
green plaid button downs and cable knit sweaters, their
folded laundry, kitchen sinks clear of crusty dishes reeking
of sour heaven-knows-what with the absence of empty
wine bottles dead on their side after being guzzled down
from a hard day’s of work to pay for a nice Christmas. I
can tell by their manicured lawns and white light-lined
cottage homes that they must have it together. café Americano, I think, “She’s holding the pieces of her
life together somehow better than those of us who are
too verklempt to make it through the holiday madness.
What’s her secret?” By what scientific or divine power I’ve
come to that conclusion, I don’t know; but I immediately
reflect on where I am on matters like parenting, money,
health, and the lifestyle that might separate my particular
hot mess from hers. Somehow in that nanosecond,
I’ve assumed they’ve mastered life and that their issues
must be managed neatly in an accordion folder at their
beachfront estate where their personal chef dishes
up the finest holiday fare. False thinking, no doubt,
but like everyone else, I get absorbed in my financial
shortcomings, insecurities, and lust to create the best
holiday to be blinded by the fact that I have it together
enough to live a really amazing life – whether or not the
mall elves are checking me out.
I love the majority of my life, and the other parts I just
wish were better so I could have it really good. But when
I see other families merrily shopping, especially poised
women perusing the non-clearance sections, chatting
it up with a friend, and ordering a venti peppermint That might sound strangely self-deprecating, but really
it’s not uncommon because there’s a chance she’s looking
back at me wondering the same thing. In a way, we’re
all looking at each other admiring those who appear to
lack cares of the world and have a nice balance of it all.
I
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WINTER GARDEN MAGAZINE
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DECEMBER 2018