A Guide to Christmas Caroling
in Winter Garden in 2016
Stephen Scarborough
DO
make sure that you
have the following
people in your caroling
group. The one who is prepared,
the younger ones for whom this is
a brand-new experience, the older
person who has been there and
done that, at least one guy with
abs, a hot girl or two and someone
that has a shotgun. Wait, no, that’s
for a zombie apocalypse.
DO
make sure that you are
careful with your song
selection. Make sure
you hit the classics: “We Wish You a
Merry Christmas,” “Jingle Bells,” “O
Christmas Tree,” “Silent Night.”
with potato flakes to create a
“kissed by snow” look.
DO
Make sure you are
aware of different
holiday traditions. It’s
a good idea to honor Chanukah
with…um, “The Driedel Song.”
And Kwanzaa by singing…
DO
learn about Chanukah
and Kwanzaa. And
have a happy holiday
full of song and merriment!
DON'T
get too cute
with garbage
like, “Grandma
Got Run Over By A Reindeer,” “All I
Want for Christmas Is My Two Front
Teeth”…and for real, don’t do “The
12 Days of Christmas.” Don’t. For
real. C’mon. Okay, if you must do
that song, just do the parts that
everyone likes. Which means just
yell out “Five Golden Rings.”
DON'T
bother
explaining
what
Christmas Caroling is to the
children you are forcing to
accompany you. This is your
chance to give them the
experience of going door to
door and scaring people like
a vacuum cleaner salesman
from the 50’s.
DO
overdress and
layer clothing.
I know, it’s
Florida. I know, climate
change. But seeing
carolers in board shorts
and flip-flops would be
horribly disappointing.
If you need to, cover yourselves
40
|
WINTER GARDEN MAGAZINE
|
DECEMBER 2016
BONUS TIP FOR
PEOPLE ENJOYING
CAROLERS:
DO
have an offering for
the carolers – cider
or hot cocoa. Make
sure they are heated to a proper
temperature before dropping it
onto them. Preventing a siege is
about preparation and a cold heart.
And boiling liquids. Also, if you
have time, dig a moat around your
house.
Happy Holidays
& Merry Christmas!