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If my job is my identity , then what happens when it is time to retire ? I once heard of a lawyer who proclaimed they only had so many jury trials in them . I think that is true , so what does an attorney do when they reach their personal number of trials , cases , or clients ? If I am not keenly aware that I am not my job , I might be afraid to retire and will be tempted to stay long after my ability to do the job has left me . Experience has shown it is vital to find a greater purpose in life that allows us to be more than the work we are paid to do .
4 . I am not what you think of me . Several years ago , a dear friend suggested what others think of me was none of my business . My mind was blown . As lawyers , we are taught that our reputation is what we trade on . However , I now know the truth , that people ’ s opinions of me are absolutely none of my business . If I am operating on a set of higher principles that guide my behavior , then what others think of that behavior is irrelevant .
As a person holding the position of a judge , I have made many decisions that are unpopular . Rarely , if ever , do we make decisions that sit well with everyone . If I am what you think of me , am I really willing to apply the law to the facts as I find them ? Or am I trying to do what I think you want me to do ? It is a slippery slope that I avoid .
Furthermore , I have no idea what you are thinking anyway ! The North Dakota pattern jury instruction on intent says it best : “ We simply cannot look into the head or mind of another person .”
5 . Everyone deserves respect . In my early years on the bench , I was guilty of treating people before me disrespectfully . I certainly do not claim to be perfect , which is readily apparent , however , I have grown to consider everyone as having innate value . Everyone who utilizes the judicial system deserves our respect . I have watched the best lawyers treat every client with respect .
As we know , people come to the court system either involuntarily through the criminal justice system , voluntarily seeking a solution , or involuntarily defending an action . It is a stressful situation made infinitely worse when the judge , lawyers , and staff treat the litigants disrespectfully . Respect in the courtroom starts with the judges , and we set the courtroom ’ s culture .
6 . I will never be perfect , but I can seek progress . I find it humorous now that when I first took the bench , I kept a scorecard of my cases on appeal that were reversed , remanded , or affirmed . I would review the list and berate myself for being reversed . Seeking perfection was incredibly stressful . That list lasted until I realized I will never get everything perfect .
As trained lawyers , it seems we can easily fall prey to this idea
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7 . Human beings have a basic need to be seen and heard . When I first sat on the bench , I did not know this basic but important truth . Experience and other more patient judges have taught me the importance of allowing people to be seen and heard . Since then , I have a hand drawn piece of art on my bench that reads : “ Let them be seen . Let them be heard .” It is a constant reminder what litigants really want is an opportunity to have their story heard .
8 . I cannot control anyone or change their behavior . In my experience , it does not matter what pressure I exert on someone ’ s behavior , if they are not interested in change , it will not happen . I can certainly order people to spend time in jail , order them to pay child support , order a house sold , order when parents see their child , and order a variety of other things . However , if the individual does not want to comply , I will probably see them again in a courtroom setting .
The same is true for trying to control lawyers in the courtroom . I once heard a judge explain to a lawyer , “ you argue to the court , not with the court .” I have adopted this statement a time or two .
I have an order written by the Honorable Thomas E . Merrick printed out and pinned to my corkboard . It states : “ As for control of the courtroom , I am not sure any other judge will fare better . There was a time , and not too long ago , when lawyers in North Dakota were collegial to one another and respectful toward the bench . Perhaps that was because they knew , as the “ Seinfeld ” characters discovered , that a $ 20 bill lost may soon be counterbalanced by a $ 20 bill found . Perhaps they realized that while their present client is holding aces , their next might not . In the small universe of the courthouse , civility and doing the right thing was once as important as winning . No more . Now , an adverse ruling is taken as an affront . . . If lawyers continue choosing unrelenting argument over zealous advocacy , control of the courtroom will remain in jeopardy .” I could not say it better myself , so I will not try .
9 . Actions have consequences . I do not like this truth because , personally , I would like to stay up late watching an NHL game go into overtime and wake up in the morning refreshed . Unfortunately , it simply does not work that way and the same holds true for us in the legal profession . Showing up late for court , not being prepared for trial , not knowing the law or court rules , or showing disrespect in the courtroom , at the courthouse , or to other lawyers outside the courtroom , etc ., all have consequences . The North Dakota bar is small and actions have far reaching consequences .
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