Tip : Adopt a learner ’ s mindset .
Understanding your own story and triggers is really helpful in maintaining a learner ’ s mindset when receiving feedback . When we face things that threaten the image we have of ourselves , it can be very hard to get out of our own way . Dr . Brené Brown ’ s advice on this topic is this :
“ It ’ s obviously much more difficult to practice than it is to teach , but if you could just think about it , instead of saying , ‘ I ’ m here to prove myself .’ You say , ‘ I ’ m here to improve myself .’ It ’ s a lot easier to see that as a learning opportunity . Or another way : ‘ You know what ? I ’ m not here to prove to anyone that I got it right the first time I tried . I ’ m here to keep improving myself , and I want to know how good I can get .’”
That , folks , is when the true and exciting growth can happen for not just you as the coach , but for your entire team who may catch that lesson by watching you model it .
Tip : Use a quick tool for mini check-ins .
In a workbook I authored for
True North Sports in 2020 called
Managing Your Culture I included several tools for gathering feedback from various sources . By far , the most useful for these mini check-ins was provided by my good friend Amanda Bracken :
Pick a particular thing related to the players or staff member you are meeting with and expand on the following :
1 . Here ’ s what I think I ’ m doing right ( or what I think I ’ ve done well ).
2 . Here ’ s what I think I ’ ve missed the mark on . Then they ask the following with curiosity : 3 . What am I missing ?
* Important Note : Your only allowed response to feedback from question # 3 at the time of the meeting is : “ Thank you .”
More tools can be found in
Managing Your Culture , but it must be reiterated that there is simply no tool that can overcome the bad behavior of the receiver . If you truly see the value in receiving feedback , you must have your heart right about this and remove ego or the signal that you ’ re not a safe person to be candid with will spread like wildfire .
Feedback : It Saves or Ends More Careers than Wins and Losses
It has become clear to me that coaches who experience sustained success and continued growth are more likely to welcome feedback as part of their team ’ s everyday process . They find ways to train their players and staff on the practice of giving feedback and celebrate them when they step into the hard act of doing so . It has also become clear that many coaches who end up getting fired , end up that way because they didn ’ t receive the useful feedback that might have saved them and improved the experience for all involved . This is heavy , nuanced stuff for sure , but the pursuit is a worthy one . It also happens to be loaded with tools your athletes will use in their daily lives as much as , or more than , any other tool you can give them .
On the podcast episode mentioned earlier in this article , Adam Grant also said this :
“ I think that one of the best antidotes that I can think of to this , it ’ s just to say , look — one of your core values has to be diversity of thought . And if you want to have crystallization and intensity around hearing dissenting views , creating psychological safety , giving people the freedom to be vulnerable and courageous , and not letting that be a threat to their belonging , then I don ’ t worry as much about you having a strong culture .”
In other words , if you want to have a passionate , hard-core , fired-up , bought-in culture without fearing that it will drift into a stagnate or scary cult-like group , you absolutely better get great at welcoming and celebrating the discussion of different opinions from everyone in that group . n
28 | Soccer Journal