and thoughts — characteristics such as anxiety , doubt , worry , fear , carelessness , poor discipline and distraction to name a few — these are “ experienced ” rather than “ done on purpose .”
Players don ’ t do angry or frustrated on purpose . They don ’ t become self-conscious nor do they display social anxiety to spite you . They don ’ t choose to be distracted nor do they make a conscious decision to act with poor discipline .
This is evolution in action . Personality characteristics exist to help people get along and get ahead , and every one of the behaviors you see on display in your team is a consequence of thousands of years of evolutionary pressure . All characteristics and subsequent behaviors have value . You may not want your players to gossip but such behavior exists because it helps people to work out whose side others are on . You may not want players to be abrupt when they talk to others , but such behavior exists because “ straightforward speaking ” can help people find solutions quicker and more efficiently .
Every personality characteristic and every behavior can both help and hinder , and an acknowledgement of this can make you a better coach . It can make you a better coach because it can build an open-mindedness and a sense of curiosity within you , intensifying your empathy , broadening the questions you ask and deepening your template of human solutions . It can force you to hold yourself more accountable for player engagement , learning and performance — a dynamic position that pressures you to ask , “ What can I do here ? What can I implement ? What changes can I make ?” A “ me ” rather than “ them ” attitude — a position compelling you to closely examine your session design , coach behaviors and coach feedback . The responsible coach , the creative coach .
“ My players will experience thoughts , emotions and feelings , many of them that will shape unhelpful characteristics and behaviors . They won ’ t always realize this , so I ’ ll make it my job to be more accepting of their actions and help them to manage and adjust them appropriately .”
None of this is to say that players ( especially older , more experienced players ) shouldn ’ t have a high degree of accountability for their behaviors . I ’ m not advocating a free-for-all chaotic community of poorly behaved footballers . But I am suggesting that as their coach you set the tone . I am suggesting that if you want them to be accountable you need to show them what accountability looks like . And I am suggesting that part of your coaching remit is to help your players learn to take control of themselves as much as you want them to take control of the soccer ball and the soccer game .
So , look to yourself first ! Look to yourself by finding as many ways as possible to create a coaching practice and coaching environment that does the utmost to acknowledge and accept human frailty , and optimizes your ability to manage unhelpful and unwanted player characteristics and behaviors .
A thorough review of all behavior management approaches here is beyond the scope of this short article . But below are three I strongly suggest coaches consider and research further :
Build a Psychologically Informed Environment ( PIE ): a PIE sounds like it might be describing something complicated , but at the heart of it lies a simple philosophy — always take into account the thoughts , feelings , experiences and personalities of your people when you consider their behaviors and when you lay down processes in your coaching practice . Put the person before the player in order to keep the player engaged , learning and performing . PIEs help players feel valued and cared for — both of which research has demonstrated are at the top of a player ’ s wish list . A simple Google search for PIEs will give you a fantastic array of research material and practical resources .
Set values and behavioral norms : players appreciate values because they help them identify with the team , increase trust across the group , and guide moral standards and ethical behavior . I thoroughly recommend taking time to set them with your team — skip a training session to do so ( yes , they ’ re that important !). However , recent research in sport psychology has called for a more sophisticated approach to values adoption — one that I advocate . Take care to avoid pushing values to the point of compliance or at the expense of cognitive and behavioral diversity . Talk to your players about ways they can align themselves with team values , while striving to notice ( and respect ) individual differences across the group . Many Millennial and Gen Z players appreciate coaches who are cultural detectives — ethnographic and anthropological in their social detail . Strive to set your norms while giving room for behavioral breadth .
Learn psychological frameworks : because this will improve your coaching ten-fold . While all coaches do psychology within their role , very few actually use psychological techniques or frameworks . Learn some ! A quick skim through a book on Motivational Interviewing will aid your capacity to express empathy , ask open questions , and co-create behavioral solutions with players to the specific challenges they face . Likewise , 10 minutes a day reading a book on Solution-Focus Brief Therapy will help you learn simple yet sophisticated psychological techniques such as scaling , finding counters and exploring exceptions . At first these can sound scary — scary until you take a little time to read about them and put them into practice . With a little experience you ’ ll be able to incorporate them in your day-to-day communication with players . Both Motivational Interviewing and Solution-Focus Brief Therapy books can be found and bought where you buy your books . n
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