Society
Norway
Arranged marriages - Not the key to happiness
By Iqra
«An arranged marriage is like a blind date-except that date is supposed to last for a
lifetime.» In some countries arranged marriages are practised as a part of traditions and
cultures. What is an arranged marriage? An arranged marriage is a marriage where the
decision of a spouse is taken by either the parents, some other family members or some
other people the two who are going to get married know. We can find this tradition in
too many countries. This is not acceptable, and in this text I am going to explain why.
First of all, every human should get the right to decide such an important decision by
herself or himself. We have human rights, which say that you have the freedoom to
choose and take the decisions you want to all by yourself. Where is this freedom if other
people are supposed to choose who you are going to share the rest of your life with?!
Instead of meeting the love of your life, it is up to the parents to arrange your marriage.
Other people decide your freedom and independence, and this is just not right.
On the other hand, even though the parents think it will be a good marriage, it will not
be. How can two people who are married stay together as a happy couple when there is
no love? Love has another priority. «Follow your head, not your heart.» This is what the
parents tell their children. However, it should sound more like «Listen to your heart.»
People do not even care if both of the spouses love each other. Therefore, social and
economic problems are more important than love. Your marriage is one of the most
important decisions you ever will take, and it will affect the rest of your life. In addition
to this, why should someone else decide when it all is about you, and you only?
Lastly, it is more focus on the family than on the two people who are the ones who are
going to get married. The families decide together who «the lucky one» should be. As a
result, they do get two people married but are they happy? They rarely know each other,
and they do not love each other. Problems and conflicts may come in their way. At that
moment, it is already too late, and in this case the woman is the one who is more
vulnerable. The wife is usually just a product of the marriage which the man is asked to
spend the rest of his life with. The respect is even gone, and both are unhappy about
the marriage. Most people do not say a word about their unhappiness, in fear of a
divorce or the family. This is sad, and we cannot let such things happen.
All in all, arranged marriages are not the key to a happy and successful marriage. A
marriage like this is just like a big change in your life without no real expectations or
love. A marriage which is not arranged may consist of love and freedom, and both of the
parts know each other. You are supposed to marry him or her because you feel love for
that person. Not because someone else wants you to do it or ask you to do it. An
arranged marriage is like window-shopping. You get something that you never wanted in
the first place.