Mountain Matrimony
written by paige kocourek
Modern Wedding Etiquette
Uniquely Inspired Weddings Curated by the Couple
Throughout history , wedding traditions have evolved . They have come a long way from commonplace practices of the father of the bride placing a silver sixpence in the betrothed ’ s left shoe for good luck to the creativity-filled and personalized celebrations seen today . In the past few years wedding culture has changed , and soonto-be newlyweds find themselves in a place of uncertainty while in the wedding planning process . There is a pull between tradition and making their special day unique .
“ Culture has dictated a lot of change in how we do weddings . As a result , wedding etiquette has been thrown to the wind ,” says Beautiful Beginnings ’ Owner and Wedding Planner Lisa Sargent . “ Now , weddings are often centered around doing what feels best for each bride and groom regardless of tradition .”
One of the greatest contributing factors to these evolving changes in modern weddings is that many couples tying the knot have already lived together for a significant period of time . This impacts countless elements in the wedding ; for example , who is responsible for the cost of the day ? There is a movement away from the long-standing tradition of the bride ’ s family covering the financial load and , instead , toward the couple independently paying for the cost of the wedding or seeking support from both familial sides .
As living together before getting married becomes more conventional , many couples have the items they need for everyday living . Some couples have chosen to ask for monetary gifts instead of home essentials when it comes to their wedding registry . Sargent advises refraining from informing guests of registry wishes on the invitation . This information may be shared on the couple ’ s wedding website or the wedding shower invitations . Gracious requests for donations toward a honeymoon fund or something similar are becoming a more widespread practice . Instead of expecting guests to bring their monetary gifts to the wedding , couples could be creative and throw a tasteful wedding shower with a theme of their dream honeymoon location .
Another changing tradition is the first look shared between the bride and groom , which recently trended toward a photo-op moment in private before the wedding ceremony . Since photography can often be a major focus and one of the most expensive costs of the day , this new practice can make the day go smoother . However , there is something special about the first look shared at the moment the bride walks down the aisle . Luckily , each couple can make this decision for themselves and not feel tied to rigid practices .
Photographic moments are not the only day-of traditions changing ; many classic wedding games are going to the wayside . For example , couples may skip the bouquet toss in favor of a wedding party dance . Each activity takes time , and in the whirlwind of their wedding day , it is essential for couples to carefully decide which activities mean the most to them . Additionally , with the prevalence of technology , it is not impolite to kindly request that guests keep their screen time use to a minimum . This will ensure everyone fully experiences the day by the newlyweds ’ side .
There are many moving parts throughout the ceremony and reception , so prioritizing is essential . Many modern brides try to do all the planning themselves . However , after their big day , countless couples have revealed they felt stressed and were happy when the day was over .
“ You don ’ t have to do it all on your own . You should enjoy the day with everyone instead of spending time sweating to get everything together . Hiring a wedding planner or day-of coordinator will help relieve stress and enhance the beauty of the day . While etiquette should not dictate the details of your day , it should dictate your kindness toward guests ,” Sargent says . “ Many couples do not have time to say hello to everyone who comes to help them celebrate their special day , so make sure you somehow address guests and thank them for being there . Express your appreciation and love for each and every one of them .”
Sargent also encourages newlyweds to send out thank you cards . “ Thank you notes mean a lot . They show you received the gift , wanted it and appreciated it ,” she says .
Brides can feel comfortable knowing they are not tied to the stringent traditions often associated with weddings . Instead , a movement toward a uniquely inspired wedding day is the new normal . Instead of feeling overwhelmed about any unwritten rules for the special day , the happy couple can still uphold their values , practice kindness to guests and make their wedding day special to them .