Party party party 6 have learned an enormous amount about how we go about successfully changing our behavior . Probably the first thing that a psychotherapist learns is that no one , absolutely no one , lets go of a behavior while they have a deep ongoing personal attachment to it . For many people , food falls into precisely this category . And for people who are overweight this is usually the case . I was overweight and I loved and still love food . ‘ Love ’ can be defined in many ways . But one of the simplest ways to define love is as a ‘ deep attachment ’. There are few promises I can honestly make in this field , but I can promise you that if you love food you will be unable to lose weight unless you acknowledge and manage this love in some way . When I first started working with overweight individuals , I thought my job was to weaken their attachment to – or their love of – their problem or forbidden foods . This was a difficult and complex process . It quickly became apparent to me that this was not something that could be done on a large scale when approximately two-thirds of the population of most developed countries is overweight or obese . There are just not enough appropriately qualified therapists to go around . I have come to realize that , just as with romantic love , the love of food is best left to run its course . If therapists try to interfere they get trampled in the rush . This is as much because people need to enjoy whatever love they can get in life – food or people – as it is recognition that therapists are relatively powerless to change it ! Fortunately , as I worked with overweight people and explored their psychological rebellion against their weight-loss plans , I began to realize there was a much better way to deal with their deep psychological attachment to food . As I had learned from my own experience with weight loss , I realized that the key was not to attack the attachment that we have to certain foods in the hope of taking them out of the diet . This love is best left alone . Some foods cannot be denied . To do so awakens the sleeping dragon of rebellion . But before we visit the sleeping dragon we need to talk about the role of self-discipline in long-term change .