Party party party 6 have learned an enormous amount about how we go about successfully changing our behavior. Probably the first thing that a psychotherapist learns is that no one, absolutely no one, lets go of a behavior while they have a deep ongoing personal attachment to it. For many people, food falls into precisely this category. And for people who are overweight this is usually the case. I was overweight and I loved and still love food.‘ Love’ can be defined in many ways. But one of the simplest ways to define love is as a‘ deep attachment’. There are few promises I can honestly make in this field, but I can promise you that if you love food you will be unable to lose weight unless you acknowledge and manage this love in some way. When I first started working with overweight individuals, I thought my job was to weaken their attachment to – or their love of – their problem or forbidden foods. This was a difficult and complex process. It quickly became apparent to me that this was not something that could be done on a large scale when approximately two-thirds of the population of most developed countries is overweight or obese. There are just not enough appropriately qualified therapists to go around. I have come to realize that, just as with romantic love, the love of food is best left to run its course. If therapists try to interfere they get trampled in the rush. This is as much because people need to enjoy whatever love they can get in life – food or people – as it is recognition that therapists are relatively powerless to change it! Fortunately, as I worked with overweight people and explored their psychological rebellion against their weight-loss plans, I began to realize there was a much better way to deal with their deep psychological attachment to food. As I had learned from my own experience with weight loss, I realized that the key was not to attack the attachment that we have to certain foods in the hope of taking them out of the diet. This love is best left alone. Some foods cannot be denied. To do so awakens the sleeping dragon of rebellion. But before we visit the sleeping dragon we need to talk about the role of self-discipline in long-term change.