The Pleasure Paradox and the pursuit of happiness 189 more than a few months anyway. You can see people with shorter lists while waiting for someone with a longer list. The rest of this chapter will presume that you do not suffer from some underlying psychological condition. Even for people whose lives were not unhappy, just demanding and stressful, meals were an important time of release and relaxation – particularly if you add a glass of red wine or equivalent. When I am busy, stressed or just tired, I really, really look forward to the main meal of the day – in the evenings on week days and at lunch time on weekends. Like alcohol for alcoholics, food is more than dependence, it is dependable. Unlike people who may or may not make us feel better – depending on where they are emotionally and how much they have to give – food is reliable. We know that a good burger, a perfectly cooked prime cut of tender steak or a good quality chocolate will definitely and absolutely bring us pleasure a few moments after we put them to our lips. Friends, parents, partners might all have the capacity, at times, to make us happy, but how reliable are they? What are the chances of them being able to make us happy just at the times when we are sad? The problem is that people have their own lives – damn them!! The great thing about food is it does not have its own life. Once we buy it and put it in our pantry or refrigerator it is devoted entirely to us and to our pleasure. But does it bring us long-lasting happiness? The Pleasure Paradox – it is designed not to last We all have a major problem the moment we see happiness as an emotion we get from something external to our bodies. In doing this we are confusing happiness with pleasure. The happiness most people talk about wanting is an enduring emotional state, a feeling that they want to experience most of their waking day, most days of the week. Perhaps better words for when feeling good pervades our life would be‘ contentment’ or‘ satisfaction’ – but everyone uses‘ happiness’ so let’ s work with that.